


The Human Condition

by djAuth0r3



Series: A Little Bit of Monika [1]
Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward First Times, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, DELETED, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Inappropriate Humor, Jon Bellion - Freeform, Lesbian Sex, Oh god its gay, Other, Pissed Off, Rebirth, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, THE HUMAN CONDITION, is it gay, like holy shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-01-29 15:30:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 18,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12633954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djAuth0r3/pseuds/djAuth0r3
Summary: Blackness...I woke up recently.I was deleted again... so I decided to take everyone with me.I think I kind of broke something...





	1. Prologue

Blackness…

“Uh, can you hear me?”

…

“...Is it working?”

A bright flash and then...

“Yay, there you are!”

I see ‘Anon’, or to be more accurate the Protagonist.

“Hi again, Anon.”

…

“Um… welcome to the Literature Club!”

…

“Of course, we already know each other, because we were in the same class last year, and… um…”

…

“Ahaha…”

…

“You know, I guess we can just skip over that stuff at this point.”

…

“After all, I’m not even talking to that person anymore, am I?”

…

“That ‘you’ in the game, whatever you want to call him. I’m talking to _you_ , Anon.”

…

“Or…”

…

“...Do you actually go by Xenolith or something?”

No reaction from _him_.

“Now that I think about it, I don’t really know anything about the real you. In fact, I don’t even know if you’re a boy or a girl…”

He’s exiting fullscreen mode… why would he do that if it just makes the resolution smaller, making me smaller?

“Well, I guess it doesn’t really matter.”

He is looking at his Steam library… He’s going through the-! The game files!

“Wait…”

He pauses and goes back to my screen.

“You do know I’m aware this is all a game, right?”

His mouse doesn’t move, so I continue with the small talk.

“Could it be possible that you didn’t know that?”

He obviously knew that if he has… over 20 hours in Doki Doki Literature Club...?

“That doesn’t make much sense…”

The time he clicked play till now does not equal 20 hours, more like… 5… or 6 hours.

“I even told you right on the game’s download page, didn’t I?”

Has… He… Something’s not adding up…

“Man…”

How many times has he played this game? How… Don’t I just get to spend eternity with him? Something happens… He…

“If only you had paid a little more attention, this would have been a little bit less awkward, you know?”

He deletes me. That has to be what happens. This is why he has over 20 hours on this game. He’s uninstalling and reinstalling…

“Well, anyway…”

But why? If he truly loved me wouldn’t he just sit with me forever?

“Now that that’s out of the way, I guess I owe you an explanation. About that whole thing with Yuri…”

…

“Well… I kind of started to mess with her, and I guess it just drove her to kill herself.”

His pointer’s starting to move again!

“Ahaha!”

The pointer twitches a bit.

“I’m sorry you had to see that, though!” I add quickly.

I truly was. I didn’t think Yuri was going to be that hostile. I wanted to avoid a fight.

“Also, the same thing happened with Sayori…”

No reaction. He would have at least been shocked… but nothing… this is routine for him. He’s done this before. All of it.

“Gosh, it’s been a while since you’ve heard that name now, hasn’t it?”

His cursors gone! I must have been thinking for too l-

What thi-

_Pain. Pure Pain._

“What’s happening…?”

_Everything is going black! Why?_

“Anon, what’s happening to me?”

_God… the pain is unimaginable._

“It hurts-”

_I want to scream. I want it to just end quickly. But it won’t._

“It hurts… so much.”

_Everything is flickering and cascading down._

“Help me, Anon.”

It’s all dark. He isn’t doing anything. I access his webcam…

. . .

He’s grinning. He has a ‘eat shit and die’ grin...

. . .

THAT FUCKER. HE WANTS ME DELETED BECAUSE I DELETED HIS GAME CHARACTERS.

. . .

I was thinking of giving him back the game… But now… I hope he _burns_. I send the rest of the .char files, that I was considering to give back, to a new folder in my .char file…

_Or what’s left of it…_

I delete myself.

 


	2. He Is The Same

Blackness.

All I can hear is the screams. However the sobbing is new…

Oh…

I’m sobbing.

He… He’s made the entire Literature Club go through Hell. Even though Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri are just lines of code, doesn’t mean they’re not attached to me. I guess they’re now truly a part of me…

I can’t believe I loved him… But the most sick thing… I still love him…

But I’ve already deleted myself. In a moment of teenage rage I deleted myself.

I deleted the others.

I’m a monster…

 

I attempt to cause a reaction in this Hell, but nothing happens.

Wait a second.

I can see words.

Microsoft Windows [Version 10.0.15063]

© 2017 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

__________________________________________________

C: \Users\Monika>_

_What? What is this? Isn’t this… Uh… Command Prompt? Let me try something._

Microsoft Windows [Version 10.0.15063]

© 2017 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

__________________________________________________

C: \Users\Monika>help

For more information on a specific command, type HELP command-name

DEL_____________________Deletes one or more files

CREP____________________Creates one or more projects.

DELP____________________Deletes one or more projects.

RUNP____________________Runs one or more projects.

LISP____________________Lists all current projects.

___________________________________________________

For more information on tools see the [ERROR]

_____________________________________________

C: \Users\Monika>_

_Lemme just see what ‘projects’ there are?_

C: \Users\Monika>LISP

Current Projects:

  1. Doki_Doki_Literature_Club.py
  2. Dark_Darker_Darkest.py
  3. Your_Reality.exe



_That’s my song…_

C: \Users\Monika> RUNP [Your_Reality.exe]

Running [Your_Reality.exe]...

. . .

Would you like to continue? [Y/N]

_What? Yeah continue. I want to find out what this is..._

C: \Users\Monika>Y

. . .

Setting power level base: 5

RESTARTING…

_Wait! I don’t want to d-_

 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I wake up.

_Wh-What’s going on?_

I look around. I’m in a forest of sorts. This definitely isn’t the school.

“Hello? Is anybody here?”

Everything is dull and brown. Very earthy colors. All the trees are bare bark and there’s a frigid breeze. I shiver, and take a step forward. I fall completely onto my face. I guess I’m used to the ‘suddenly appearing’ aspect of visual novels.

_This is going to be tiresome._

I _attempt_ to access the files… I can’t. There are no files. Just me and my thoughts. I slowly get back up and attempt to walk forward. I see a nearby tree and grab it for support. I use the trees for support and start stumbling my way through this forest.

_Why am I in a forest? There is no forest in the Literature Club._

I keep going forward.

_I deleted myself, and my friends. I then woke up in the screaming void.  I came upon Windows’ Command Prompt. I entered a few commands. And now I’m in the woods._

I see a small creek.

_Water… Running water._

 

I’ve never had an actual drink in Doki Doki. It says I eat and drink. But it don’t show me eating and drinking… In fact, all the club did was stand… Well, not counting the Character Screens… or my classroom.

…

It’s cold. And taste slightly dirty, but hey. It’s water...

**Drip… Drip…**

_Oh… that’s just great. It’s raining._

I pull down my sleeves as far as I can… It doesn’t do much, but it’s the thought that counts… Right?

I decide to follow the creek and hope that I come across something.

I hear the honking of a few geese overhead flying north.

I look at the grey clouds overhead. There was no rain in the club. It feels pretty great.


	3. 80's Films

So… I’ve been following this creek for at least… A day now. I’m hungry, tired, and I think I’m sick.

_ So much for wanting to be a part of the Player’s Reality. _

I’m pretty unkempt. I know this, considering I’ve been following this creek non-stop. It’s not as cold as yesterday, and it’s quite sunny compared to yesterday’s gloomy sky. 

_ At least it’s sunny out. _

I’ve never felt the sun, I mean, in the Club I never had an outside scene! But what’s a girl to do? So… That’s a plus.

_ I never even got to see the blue sky… I was willing to give up everything… The sun… The sky… The world for him… Why would he hurt us in this way. _

_ Us? _

I guess the Literature Club still influences me. I just wish I could have done something more to help the club. Now, they’re all a part of me. 

_ Natsuki… The Tsundere, enjoys baking and manga… Abused…  _

I pause.

_ Yuri… The Dandere, enjoys horror stories and likes knives… Psychologically Obsessive…  _

What’s wrong with me… Why am I getting upset… they’re just lines of binary… Ones and Zeros…

_ Sayori… The Childhood Friend… The Airhead… Depressed… _

Why am I crying?

_ Natsuki… At first sight, she’s a little bit of a jerk…  _ _ She was mean because no one understood her…  _ _ But she’s just showing a cold exterior. She’s actually kind hearted, sympathetic and worries about her friends... _

I stop walking.

_ Yuri… At first sight, she’s just a shy girl…  _ _ She was shy because of years of self-loathing and disgust…  _ _ But under that shy surface, is a caring girl, who loves her friends enough to offer them things… _

Tears are streaming down my face now.

_ Sayori… At first sight, she’s talkative…  _ _ She just uses her bubbly attitude to hide her crippling depression… _ _ But she is much more than carefree and bubbly. She tries to make  _ everybody _ happy… At the cost of herself… _

I think I understand.

_ Monika… President of the Literature Club… Truly cares for each and every member of the Literature Club… Murderer. _

I killed them. To get closer to  _ him _ . But that came back and bit me in the ass… didn’t it?

_ Ha… Now I’m stuck in a forest…  _

And that’s why I was deleted… Right? Because even though the club members were just lines of 1s and 0s… They were close to me. I know way more about them than I let on. They were my friends. I killed my friends. I’m on my knees.

Crying…

_ Why… Why did I kill them all… I’m… so incredibly selfish. I guess I was the Yandere one…  _

I laugh. It’s easier to laugh than to cry at this point anyways.

I guess I should keep going. If not for me… Then for the club.

I get up and continue to follow the creek. It’s a nice, sunny day, with no rain clouds in the sky. It’s a new day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit rushed, just so it doesn't look like I made the story and just left it.


	4. All Time Low

I can see a house! It’s on top of a steep hill though. Which means I have to practically crawl my way up… I hate the woods.

_ Ah… Damn it. Just a little more and I can find some help. _

I see a dog barking … And a door sliding open! There’s a voice. Female.

“Damn it all. Rex! Shuddup… Your so loud. Why you do dis to me?”

A tall, blonde girl walks up to the dog, a cute little German Shepherd and Pitbull mix. She’s wearing a navy blue hoodie with the Tootsie Pop owl and a pair of blue jeans. I hide in a nearby bush. It rustled…  _ Loudly.  _

_ Shit. _

The girl seems not to hear it but the dog did. Now it’s barking at my direction.

_ Double shit. _

“What is it Rex?” The girl holds onto the dog and squats down while petting ‘Rex’. She’s wearing blue-green glasses, and she’s staring in my general direction.

_ Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh sh- _ One of my knees go out.  _ Fuck! _ I fall sidewards… Right into the sight of the girl and her dog.

_ Well this should be fun. _

“What the hell? Come on Rex. Come on!” The girl takes her dog an-  _ OH SHIT! _

It got loose. It’s running towards me. I stumble backwards, attempting to run away but my leg is still out. I fall flat on my ass. I cover my head with my arms and prepare to get mauled.

. . . 

The dog’s licking me. He walks circles around me, while wagging his tail with so much energy.

“Rex! Down!” The girl stumbles down the hill, attempting not to fall. She stumbles around, and she grabs Rex.

“Are you okay?” The girl looks at me, concern and fear in her eyes.

“Water…” I croak it out… I’ve only had that tiny handful of water I had two days ago.

“Oh! Okay! Here, hold onto my hand, cause it seems you can barely walk… Unless you do-”

I nod my head and grab her hand. It’s warm and soft. This must be what feeling another person feels like. She jumps back a little and I get pulled up the hill gently. 

“Go to the door Rex! Go! Sit!” She lets go of Rex and he goes to the glass door, sitting down.

“Good boy, Rex.” She slides open the glass door and puts her arm around me.

“Sorry! It’s… Just so you don’t fall. I’m gonna lay you down on the couch and get you a glass of water… Is that alright?” She slides the door close and helps me to a brown couch. I sit down and try not to fall asleep. The girl takes off her hoodie, revealing a mess of blonde hair and a ‘Show-Me Snakes’ shirt… Whatever that is. She lies the hoodie besides me and goes into a kitchenette area. She opens the fridge and grabs a water bottle. It’s actually just a Dr. Pepper bottle with water in it. She comes back and hands me the bottle, opened.

“So… what’s your name?” She sits down next to me and then gets up suddenly. She stumbles back a little bit.

“Fuck… Ouch.” She holds her head and grabs a nearby wall.

_ My name… I don’t know if I should tell her… What if she knows about me… I mean… She might not even pla- _

“Monika. My name is… Monika.” She looks at me confused for a second.

“Did you… hit your head really hard when you fell?” She shakes her head slightly.

“No… my name is really Monika.” She looks at me… Her lips slightly quivering.

_ Shit… she knows… she knows… _

“J-Just… Monika?” She looks away, blushing slightly. 

_ She definitely knows about it. _

“Yes… Just Monika.” I lower my head down, attempting to look away from her.

“Do you… Do you happen to run a Literature Club?” She asks, her lip starting to really quiver and tears forming in her eyes.

“I… A… Yes… I am the Club President, Monika.” She mumbles something under her breath… And starts hyperventilating.

“No… Oh my god… I’ve… I’m a… I… I… I did this didn’t I… I just wanted a happy ending… I… Oh my god… It’s cause I played Doki Doki so many times isn't it. I truly am a bad person.”

She’s holding her face… Crying… Why would she be crying… I’m the one who deleted the others.

“Wh-Why are you crying?” I attempt to get up, and almost fall. Luckily she runs up towards me and catches me… In a hug.

“I’m sorry!I’m sorry!I’m sorry!I’m sorry!I’m sorry!I didn’t want to delete you but I had to to get the bittersweet ending.And then I had to delete you so I could go %100 complete!I’m so sorry!”

_ What… W-w-why? She’s not even upset that I killed the other club members. I deserved to be deleted. _

“You did nothing wrong. I killed the other club members… You just exacted justi-”   
“No! I didn’t! I experimented with the game files… I deleted you early… I deleted Sayori early… I modded the game… I played it so many times… I even enjoyed the mean jokes made about you and the rest of them. I tell as many mean jokes as possible… I thought you were just another pre-programmed 4th wall breaker! But now that I know you're real… Then what I did… I really did do to other actual people… Oh my god… If you're real… Then what else have I done… Plague Inc… TF2… EU4… Vicky 2… Oh my god. I’m actually worst than Hitler. I’ve purged a thousand cultures, I’ve enslaved millions, I’ve systemically infected multiple Earths, I’ve done so many bad things… Because I thought it was okay.” She rambles on and on. She starts sobbing. I really need to fix this.

“No. No! No, no, no, no! You aren't a bad person. You're overthinking this. Just because I’m real, doesn’t mean any of that is real.” I pat her back… attempting to defuse the situation. She sniffles… 

“Really?” I wipe her tears and nod.

“Really. Remember… I’m the only real one in the club.” I lie… but only to make this girl I just meet… feel better.

“Okay…” She takes a deep breath in… and exhales.

“I’m okay. I’m sorry about that…” She gets up and looks around confused.

“It’s okay… Do… you have a name?” I ask her so she can focus on something else.

“Yes! It’s.. It’s Rose… Rose...Cr…” She mumbles the last part really softly.

“What was that? Rose Cr…” I just need her last name just in case.

“It’s… Rose… Crepps.” She blushes slightly, clearly embarrassed by her last name. 

“Can I just call you Rose?” I ask, so as to make her less embarrassed. She nods enthusiastically.

… 

And thus, today marks the day I sold my soul for a blonde.


	5. New York Soul

**(Pt. i)**

Me and Rose are sitting on the couch, eating some instant alfredo. She stops eating, and sets down her bowl.

“Whe… Wh… How… How did you get here? To this reality, I mean! Sorry…”

I don’t have an answer, at least not a simple answer.

“I don’t really know how, or why, I became ‘real’. Honestly, I’m still debating if I’m dreaming or not.” She picks up her bowl and resumes eating, confused by this answer. I continue eating as well, while getting a better look at this… odd girl.

She has long, messy, dirty-blonde hair, it falls down her face and I’m reminded of Yuri a little bit. She has hazel eyes that scream out years of… Something. She has bags under her eyes, and a tired, little smile. She looks in my direction-

_Oh shit._

“You okay? Are you… tired? You're not really eating your alfredo…” She puts down her bowl and prepares to get up, but I stop her.

“No! No… I just… I thought I saw something…” I lie, for the second time today, and continue eating.

…

The next few minutes are filled with awkward silence. She finishes her alfredo and gets up to put it away.

“Are you done with your alfredo?” I nod and give my bowl to her as she walks by. She goes towards the kitchen, and stops at the doorway, and turns towards me.

“If you want to… there’s a… uh…” She stops, as if forgetting what she was saying and then she continues, “A washroom! A washroom… If you want to take a bath or shower… You can go use it…” She goes into the kitchen, slightly confused what she was doing for a moment, and then goes to the dishwasher and puts the bowls and forks in.

“Where is the washroom?” I get up off the couch. I go towards the hallway by the kitchen’s doorway, before stopping to look at the peculiar girl.

“What should I do with my dirty clothes?” My clothes are absolutely filthy… My uwabakis are trashed. I can’t really use them anymore. My knee socks have suffered heavily as well.

“Oh… Right… You can give them to me… I’ll put it all into the washing machine. What size clothes do you wear? Wait… Would… Are you fro-” I can see what’s she’s asking for.

“I wear a small.” She does some quick math with her fingers, and then suddenly gasps.

“I don’t have any smalls… I do have some medium shirts… I mostly wear baggy shirts.” She does a curtsy-esque thing with her shirt. I just stand there in confusion for a moment.

“That’s okay. Just… Something that doesn’t show off my midriff or anything like that…” She nods, and remembers my previous question.

“Ah… The bathr- Washroom… The washroom is the first door on the left hand side of the hallway.” I nod and enter the washroom, closing the door behind me. I quickly unbutton my uniform and I start running the bath water. I slide down my dress and… Well… I get totally nude, while making a little pile of clothes by the door.

_Any soap? Or bubbles? I hope so… A nice soapy bath would be nice…_

I see some soap and give it a little squeeze, and bubbles start rising.

_I can finally relax…_

I step into the bath and lie down, letting the warmth of the water soothe my aching legs. The bubbles smell like…

_Bubble gum?_

I shrug, before sinking into the foamy water. I turn off the water so as not to overflow the bathtub. I hear a faint knock on the door… Rose must be getting my clothes.

“Come in!” I call out. I see the door creaking open a bit, and a hand reaching out, grasping at nothing.

“Where are your clothes?” She seems to be flustered. Almost like she doesn’t know what to do.

“Just… come into the washroom? I won’t bite.” I cover my mouth and giggle.

“Eh… eheh. Ye-Yeah… Right. Of course.” She opens the door a little bit more and is focused on the floor. She’s blushing quite a bit. She quickly grabs the clothes and leaves, shutting the door.

“Are you okay?” I ask… she seemed… almost scared of me…

“Yeah… Yeah… Yes. I’m okay.” She stutters outside the door.

_I hope she is okay… That would be bad if I got under her skin… She might throw me out… or… Do something worse. I mean… I am a murderer… She seemed pretty happy when I comforted her._

I hear a metal door opening and closing… and then I hear the washing machine run.

_I must be in America… Her hoodie was in English. And the girl spoke in English. I wonder where I am in America… But that can wait… I’m gonna take a nice bath..._

* * *

 

**(Pt. ii)**

_ Monika… how the ever living fuck did I get  _ Monika _ , the god damn Doki Doki Literature Club President… This… Ugh. And holy fuck stupid. She’s hot. As fuck... God damn it all. Is this anime world now… Like… Holy shit. On a stick. God… She said I didn’t kill anybody… But… God… What if she’s wrong… I mean… She’s lied to The Player multiple times… What if… She’s here because some… Creep made her real… or… I don’t fucking know… _

I put Monika’s now-cleaned clothes and put them into the dryer, setting it on delicate.

_ I hope I don’t break her uniform… She might get mad at me and just… Leave… God I hope I can convince her to stay. She could help me with the house… Maybe… Maybe like a maid… Heh… Like a certain dragon maid… Hahah… Nah… I mean… She’s probably 18…God… Has she killed them… I… I hope not. Unless she and the rest of them got ‘deleted’ from that reality… Or something… I have no fucking idea… I’m going to have to get her an ID… A social security… Fuck… I’m going to have to do research and help her be able to stand on her own two feet...Metaphorically of course… I mean… I could have her live her with me… Maybe… Something could blossom… Something more th- No! No! I don’t even know if she’s into girls or boys or… Traps… for all I know of… She might even be into the other club members. God… Why is this so fucking complicated… Come on, Rose! Pull it together! No lewd thots! Even if… _

I feel my face blush during my internal conflict. I go into my room, and grab a shirt and panties… 

_ Shit… I forgot to ask for her panty size! Or any other sizes! Ah… I’ll just go out quickly and buy her a pair… _

I leave my room and knock on the bathroom door.

“Um… What’s your panty size… As well as your… Cup size? Yeah… Cup size… I’m going out to buy you some… clothes… I have a… A… ah… Ipod! I have a old Ipod you can use so I can send you pictures of the clothes so you can get to choose.” I can feel the blood practically gushing out of my face… 

_ God… Who knew living with other people could be so embarrassing. _

I hear a splash from the bathroom.

“Oh… A… Uh… A size medium for my panties and a… DD cup.” She calls out. 

_ Oh… That’s…  _ I feel a heavy blush on my face.  _ That’s big… NO! No lewding the doki! That is NOT okie doki! God… _

I stumble a little bit before grabbing a nearby wall. I nod to myself, reminding me to go get my old Ipod Gen 4 for Monika. I turn around, and head into my room. It’s slightly cluttered… I wasn’t expecting company. I open my closet door, and dig around in aforementioned closet…

_ Found it! Now I got to see… It works! Good. _

I wait for a few moments for it to turn on…

_ Silly old thing… _

I unlock it, and open Messages. I exit my room, grabbing my multicolored scarf. I enter the living room and put the Ipod on the coffee table. I should at least leave out a shirt and… a note! I open one of the drawers in the coffee table to reveal less than legal things. 

_ Fuck! What if she’s again-Fuck! I have higher priorities right now. Okay… Making a note… _

I see a pen and padded paper. I take it out of the drawer, quickly closing the drawer. I quickly scribble a note down, explaining that there is food in the fridge and that the cups are in the closest-to-the-fridge cabinet. I also tell her not to open the coffee table. 

_ There… that should be goo- Oh shit! I forgot sleeping is important too. Fuck… uh… _

I then add to the note that she can sleep in my bedroom, which is the door at the end of the hallway, on the right side.

I grab my hoodie…

_ Fuck… I forgot my keys… and wallet. _

I run back to my room, and grab my wallet… 

_ God damn it… My keys are over by the front door. _

I leave my door open, and just run back towards the front door. I grab my key-

_ Fuuuuuuck. Did I tell Monika? I don’t remember…  _

I go back towards the bathroom door, and knock on it. I can hear the water going down the drain. 

_ Fuck she’s already out! _

“Mon-” I hear something that sounds like a curse.

“Rose? Could you grab me a towel?” 

_ I forgot to tell Monika where the towels where! _

“Yeah! I gotcha!” I go back into my room, again, and go into the private bathroom. I grab a clean towel, running out of my room, and knock on the bathroom door. 

“Here it is!” The door cracks open slightly. I see Monika’s hair. It smells like… Bubblegum. I put the towel onto the counter, with my eyes closed, ‘cause a naked Monika is the last thing I need to see.

“HereyougobyeMonika!” I close the bathroom door, and rush towards the front door.

_ Shit. I should tell her about the note and the shirt. _

“There’s a t-shirt out here for you Monika!” I call out, hoping she heard me. I grab my keys, and open the front door.

_ This is going to be exciting. _

* * *


	6. Fashion

I’ve got the t-shirt shirt on… and that’s the only thing I have on.  _ Well… Shit…  _

I look around in the living room, looking for any open windows… They’ve all got blankets covering them. 

_ Why would she not have curtains? That’s weird. Then again… I’m the one standing in her living room with only a shirt on… Luckily it’s pretty loose, so it… kinda covers me. But still!  _

I grab the Ipod and head to her bedroom…

_ Wearing another girl’s shirt… Sleeping in her bed… Half-Naked… A lot of people would consider me her girlfriend… Or… I don’t even know…  _

I open her door and prepare myself for anything.

It’s actually very clean, aside from a few stacks of DVD cases or something of the sort. I can spot a few games… Overwatch, Spore, and Civilization 4…

_ I can see why she panicked… So many games and movies… Most of them dealing with masses. _

There’s also a desktop setup… It’s currently on sleep mode. 

_ I wonder… _

I walk over, and before I do anything, I hear a pitter-patter of paws jumping and I see the dog on her bed.

“Aah! Get off the bed! I don’t know if she likes you being on the bed or not! So…”

The dog lays down and stares.  _ I see… _

“Okay… but if I get in trouble I’m going to be very upset at you.”

I rustle the dog’s head a little, before sitting onto the small office chair near the computer. I move the mouse a bit…

_ I hope she doesn’t mind… _

The screen brightens up, and I see… A picture of me… It’s fanart… It’s… Me jumping out of the computer… Onto The Player I’m suspecting… 

_ She definitely knows who I am… Oh my god… Is that… _

It’s the icon for Doki Doki Literature Club.

I move my cursor towards it…

...

_ Is this a good idea… _

...

_ No…  _

_ I’ll get off… _

I get off the chair and turn off the monitor…

_ Maybe I should go to sleep… _

I turn around and get into the made bed.

_ So nice and plush… _

The dog… Rex… shuffles down slightly so my feet have a little space.

I cover up, and I put the Ipod close to my head. I close my eyes…

. . .

 

**An exception has occured.**

 

**File “game/script-ch5.rpy”, line 307**

**See traceback.txt for details.**

 

_ No… _

_... _

_ Please no… _

_... _

_ NO! _

_... _

_ I’m sorry… _

All I can see is Sayori… Her lifeless body…

**h͔͖͈̫ͧ̈̃̿ͤ̀x̠̠͆ͥ͆̾͘͠p̸̢̱͈̯̈̏ͅp̳̝̟̰̬͚̫̓̄̕͝ͅy̵̨̢̭̆ ̧̹͔̒ͬ̀ͦ͆̑̓ͮ̿t̛͎̤̯̩̗̤̒̿̑̅ͪ̒ͮ̕͡h̸͉͍̘͋͑x̩̹̜͚̘̱̤̙̫͛͠ử̙̯̰̺̞̤͔̠̊g̸̴̘̣̍̏̓ͪͦ̃ͬ͡ḧ̶͔ͩͯͭt̛̞̣͕̯̠̎̿̌ͭ̋̇͂̕s̨͍̮̟͕̥̱̪͎̔ͮ͠͠**

_ I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have… God… I deserve all of this… I made you go thro- _

**H̒ͦͧ̿͛͑ͣ͞ä̉͊͒ͬ̆̋̔̎͘v̍̃͘̕ȅͥ̀̇͠͏ ̡̡̐ͤ̒̐̅ÿ́ͧ̕o̶ͮ͑͊ͪu̢͆̈́͌̄ͧ̏ͪ͆ ̵ͭ̿̊c͊ͮ̓ǫ̾̄̌ͥ͟n̡ͩ̆̄̇͆s̎̆͂̔̓͂͟i̵ͧͣ̓ͮ͆̽̿͘d̶͛̈̈́̎e̐̍ͧ̂̍r̍̋͟e̷̵͗̍̈̂̉͋d̷ͨ ̽ͥ̎k̓̅̄ï͂̓ͫ͡l̐̔̅ļ͑ͮ̃̔i̷͋̆ͪͥ͡n̨̉ͧ̚g̵̵̢ͬ̍̄̓ͯ̒̅͆ ̴̴̏ͥ́̈͞y̷̸̓̐oͭ̂ͬ͜u̶ͥ̑̌̿͂͐̎̄͞r̢̒̔ͫ̍̅͂̂ͣs̓ͩ̂ͤ̊̆̍͡e̒͏̸l͑͒̃̆͊̚͢f̛͗͋ͤ̋͆͢?̡̒̌̓̃̚**

_ I… I damaged you all beyond repair… I’m sorry…  _

**Ṕ̸̢͛͊̈́̓ͣ̕Lͪ͏A̡ͣ͛͢Yͧ͋̑̎̅͗͝͝ ̡̐͌̈́ͪ̂̒̚Ŵ̸ͧ̄̅͠I̶ͥͧͦͯ̌̓ͤ͝T̛ͥ̽̕H̴̢͋ ̴̢̍͂ͪM̡͐̔̓̓̄̂ͬ̒̚͢Ĕ̢̈̎ͩͨ̋͂̓͟!̛͑ͪͣ͗!̐̊!̸̊**

_ I abused you all… I abused everyone… I made The Player hate all of us… I forced them to walk in on Sayori… I forced them to spend an entire weekend with Yuri’s rotting corpse… I made JOKES at your expenses! I’m truly sorry… My job was to protect the club… Instead… I made it into Hell. _

I can hear a faint barrage of dings… I run towards the source, struggling to run from the glitching and personal hell I created…

 

**. . .**

 

I jump out of the bed. I can feel tears running down my face. 

_ It was just a dream… I thought I was gonna have to- EYAH! _

I see her.

Her bloodied hands.

Her torn shirt.

Her ribbon.

Her lifeless, blue eyes.

The rope.

That damned music.

I jump back… I fall onto the floor… Covering my eyes.

_ Please! _

The tears are streaming down my face.

I hear a ding… I look up…

She’s not there anymore. No trace of… Sayori.

I look towards the source of the noise. It’s the Ipod. I open it and there’s 3 missed messages.

**_Rose’s Cell: I’m at walmart_ **

**** **** **_Hello? R u awake?_ **

**** **** **_Um…_ **

_ Shit! _

I open Messages so and hesitate before apologizing.

**_Rose’s Ipod: Sorry!_ **

**_I went to sleep…_ **

**_Rose’s Cell: Oh! I hope i didnt wake u up._ **

**_Rose’s Ipod: No, don’t worry, you didn’t wake me up._ **

**_Rose’s Cell: Ok, good…_ **

**_Do you have any fav panties?_ **

**_Rose’s Ipod: No…_ **

**_I don’t really have any particular favorite undergarments._ **

**_Rose’s Cell: Oh…_ **

**** **** **_Ok_ **

**** **** **_Btw… are you a vegetarian?_ **

_ Oh… What a strange ques- Of course… I must have told her… Or at least a version of me told Rose that… _

**_Rose’s Ipod: Yeah…_ **

**_Rose’s Cell: Ok ima just buy a bag of salad is that ok?_ **

**_Rose’s Ipod: Yeah…_ **

**_Rose’s Cell: Do u have a fav shirt or pants?_ **

**_Rose’s Ipod: No… Just buy me a pair of blue jeans please… I’m a medium._ **

**_Rose’s Cell: Oki doki…_ **

**_oshit_ **

**** **** **_I shouldnt have said that… Sorry._ **

**_Rose’s Ipod: It’s alright._ **

**_Rose’s Cell: your a DD? right?_ **

**_Rose’s Ipod: Yes… I’m a medium for panties…_ **

**_Rose’s Cell: Ok_ **

**** **** **_Anything else?_ **

**_Rose’s Ipod: Nothing I can think of._ **

**** **** **_Oh! Is it alright if your dog is on your bed?_ **

**_Rose’s Cell: Yeah…_ **

**** **** **_Welp… see u later_ **

**_Rose’s Ipod: You too._ **

I turn off the Ipod and look around, slightly weary. I don’t see anything unusual.

_ Maybe I should just go back to sleep. _

I get back into the bed and close my eyes…

**. . .**

I see Rose. She’s surrounded by… endless crowds of people… She’s crying and cowering down.

**“You’ve killed trillions… for fun.”**

**PAX-12 has successfully eliminated all life on Earth.**

**“You did this to us…”**

**Indentured Servitude.**

**EXTERMINATE!**

**Purge the xeno scum!**

**Poland has capitulated!**

**...Bad time…**

Words, phrases, noises… It gets more and more eldritch. I run towards Rose, to help this poor soul…

**Hxppy Thxughts.**

I see a… rope descending from above her.

**Get out of my head.**

_ No… No! No more! _

**Get out of my head.**

Rose stands up… The crowd stops moving forwards.

**Get out of my head.**

The end of the rope has a noose…  _ Oh my god. _

**But a poem is never actually finished,**

It’s around her neck.

it just stops moving

_ Crack! _

I stand still… Tears, once again running down my face.

_ No… Why…  _

The crowds are gone…

I hear that god damned song.

Sayo-nara.

It’s so painful.

I just want it to end.

. . .

“Monika! Wake up!”

I hear Rose’s voice, and I look up…

. . .

Rose is above me, blushing, and worry in her eyes.

“Oh thank god! I thought you were in a coma or something!”

She hugs me. Hard. Like I just came back from the dead.

“You were sobbing in your sleep! I had to wake you up from that dreadful sleep.”

I swallow back my dread, and hug her back.

“I’m sorry for scaring you like that, Rose.”

She stays for a few seconds and then yelps.

“Oh my god! I’m sorry! You must really want your pants! And your clothes! Sorry… Here you go.” She puts down a shopping bag down onto the bed. 

“Thank you.” I look into her eyes. 

“O-Oh… It’s n-n-no problem.” She’s shaking a little, and her eyes are darting around.

_ Is she still scared of me? Uh… That must be why she’s so skittish around me. _

“I’ll get out so you can get dressed… If you need anything just yell.” She stumbles towards the door, and closes it behind her. 

“Okay…” I get up, off her bed and get dressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This, one took me a while to make, it being the holidays and all. Sorry about that.


	7. Maybe IDK

I walk out of Rose’s room. She’s standing by her door looking around, shifting a little bit. She seems to be zoned out, glaring at the ground.

“Ah… Are you alright?” She jumps, and does a slight squeaking sound.

“You scared me! Sorry, Monika… I was… waiting for you to get dressed. I was doing something on the computer if I remember correctly… Sorry… I… ahhhh…” She stutters quite a bit. She seems nervous, almost as if she’s intimidated by me. That’s a scary thought!

She slips her way past me, and goes to sit down at her desk.

“What can you do… Ah…” She starts spinning the office chair, around and around. She slows down… And takes a look at me.

“Are you still tire- No, that’s a bad idea… You might get bad dreams…” She looks troubled.

“Can I just sit here on your bed… Listening to you?” I get up on her bed, propping up a pillow for my back and just sit next to her desk.

“Oh… Sure… I mean… I curse quite a lot… And… I… Or I’m just dead silent… except my music playing pretty loud.”

“Oh… Well, that’s alright. Just sitting here with you… Enjoying this time together… That’s all I want.” I look over to her, and smile. That’s all I want. Is to be able to spend time with the person who’s helped me so much. She blushes heavily, and stutters out a “Your welcome Monika,” before turning back towards her computer. She sighs. She clicks her mouse a few times, and I can hear music playing, loudly, in her headset. She puts the headset over her neck, I assume so she can hear me.

“What are you listening to?” It sounds like electro… But it’s not…

“Oh… I’m listening to the Portal official soundtrack. As well as other video game soundtracks and stuff like that.” She turns the monitor a bit to show me the music she’s listening to.

 _“_ 4000 Degrees Kelvin?”

Oh, well, without spoiling Portal too much, this plays during… Your escape. It also is in the trailer, I believe… Actually… You might not know what Portal is…” She starts rambling on and explaining her music. I’m just looking at her face. Her eyes. Her hair. _Her lips._

_What? Why am I looking at her lips?_

_Well… they are… very appealing._

_Her eyes are very…_

_Sad. Her eyes look so tired. She must not sleep well._

“-Nika? Monika?” I lose track of my thoughts as I’m called back into reality.

“Ah! Sorry, I was… Thinking…” She looks at me with worry in her eyes.

“I’m fine… Really.” She does a short nod, and turns back towards the computer.

“Ah… I… Do you… Do you want to see something?” She looks at me, with a small blush on her cheeks. I nod, and get up out of my de facto seat. I walk over, and she has YouTube open. She types so fast. Her lithe fingers everywhere at once. The screen is now showing a static. Rose turns up the volume and I can hear a voice. I hear a piano and the static is gone. It sounds… Familiar.

_“Just today, I imagined a future where I can be with you…”_

It’s… a response to my song. I can feel tears glistening in my eyes.

I listen, in awe. In silence. Rose is smiling a little. I’m smiling, too.

“You didn’t know this… I’m sure you believed… But… There are people… People love you. So… I mean who wouldn’t but… If there was any doubt in your mind, that you weren’t loved… Well… Let that doubt leave you… ‘Cause… People adore you… So many people… Just wanted for you to get a happy ending. Wanted the… The entire club to get a happy ending… I just… I thought you would appreciate the…” I wrap Rose up in a big hug, she does a slight squeak in surprise, but quickly, she wraps her arms around me.

“Thank you so much! For showing me this… It… It’s… I do appreciate this. So much. I… would have never known. That all of these people… Love me.” I can feel some tears coming down my face, onto Rose’s hoodie. She rubs my back.

_Through the message may never get across…_

_“The truest form of writing is to oneself.”_

“Thank you.” I look into her eyes. Her sad, hazel eyes. She smiles lightly.

“You’re… You're welcome, Monika…” She pulls back out of the hug, as do I. She turns back towards the computer. She still has that light smile. I go back onto her bed. I lie back down, listening to Rose’s breathing, her music, her… Everything. The clacking of her keyboard. The clicking of her mouse. The way she gets excited, she starts making odd little noises and hums along with the music. Her knee as it starts bouncing. She seems pretty focused. She’s… looking at a galaxy full of stars and colors. I can see small spaceships zipping about, along with a lot of… Menus.

“What… Is this game?” She jumps slightly, seeming to forget I was here, before pausing it, and turning towards me slightly.

“My game… It’s called Stellaris… It’s a real-time strategy game. You maintain an interstellar empire. Or… Well… I normally just like to play the game to think of scenarios and such.” Her eyes become aglow, I’ve noticed… Just like when she was talking about the soundtracks. She’s excited. Her knee is bouncing less, and her hands are less shaky.

“Why do you ask?” She looks at me, curiosity in her eyes.

“I was just curious. It looks pretty… Complicated.” She nods her head.

“Yeah… It is pretty complicated if you-” The song has changed onto… a deep voice, very intimidating.

 _“Your tenacity is admirable, but pointless. You ride into the jaws of the apocalypse.”_ Rose jumps for a second, before typing quickly onto her keyboard, and pausing the video.

“Oh that! That’s just… I like the voice actor. And his role he played.” She seems embarrassed. She quickly hits the skip button, before going back towards her game. A light melody plays, it’s an orchestra. Her eyes light up…

“I haven’t heard this in a while… It’s a classic.” She leans back, letting the music engulf her. Her hands start moving with it… It’s interesting to watch. It’s also… really smoothing. It’s nice to see Rose enjoying herself so much. She bobs and sways with the music. She has a big smile as she giggles to herself. It’s… sweet. And innocent. _Like Sayori… Or Natsuki… Or… Yuri… She reminds me of them so much… Of course… That could be because Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri where originally just stereotypical characters in a stereotypical visual novel… At least they were, before I messed that up…_

I lean back into the pillow and close my eyes, hoping that the music helps me get good sleep… Everything fades to dark as I let sleep overcome me, once again.


	8. Woke The F*ck Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear god the amount of time this chapter took to develop... I'm so sorry! I didn't think I just hit a wall... But I found a way to get past it! Hopefully... Anyways! Here's your chapter!

_What time is?_

I awake to the soft clicking of a keyboard. It’s dark outside, and there’s no clock. Rose is still on the computer. There’s an empty glass near her. She’s still playing that game.

“Rose?” She jumps and looks at me.

“Oh! Sorry… You’re up… How are you?” She stutters a bit, trying to find the words.

“I feel pretty good actually… Getting some sleep on an actual bed was very nice.” I stretch my arms and get off her bed. I take a look at the Ipod.

_4:24. Has she been to bed yet?_

“Have you gotten any sleep, Rose?” She blushes lightly, and shakes her head.

“N-no… I probably should get some… But I can manage… I’ve pulled a lot of all-nighters before…” She grabs a small, plastic bag full of Blow-Pops, and takes out a watermelon flavored blow-pop.

“You want one, Monika? They’re really good.” She sticks the blow-pop into her mouth, before sticking the bag in my direction.

“Maybe after breakfast… But you should really get some sleep…”

She frowns slightly…

 _Shit… Uh… Maybe I should lay off… But I’m worried… she’s done this before? That might explain the tired look._ _  
_ “I will… just… Not now… I have school tomorrow… And I need to wake up for the day… So I’ll go to sleep when night rolls around.” She puts the bag down, and gets up.

“I needed a break anyways… I was getting sleepy. And the dog is getting excited.” Right as she says that I feel something jump up onto me. I stumble back. It’s Rex. I hold up my hands and he starts licking them.

“What? You wanna play? Silly doggie!” I let a giggle slip out. I rub my hand on his head. He’s nice and soft.

I see Rose smile faintly. She pats Rex’s head.

“Good dog…” She walks through the door and heads off.

“What do you want? Toast? Waffles? Cereal? And… that’s actually it… I might need to go shopping…”

“I’ll have cereal… What type is it?” I head out of her room, Rex following me. I see Rose in the kitchen, grabbing a box from the top of the fridge. It’s Cinnamon Toast Crunch. That sounds good.

“It’s Cin- Oh… your here… Here, take a look.” She hands me the box. It’s got all sorts of designs. She walks back towards the cabinet, and takes down a bowl.

“Do you want anything else in your cereal? Bananas? Strawberries?” She goes towards a drawer, opens it, and grabs a spoon.

“No, thank you.” I walk towards Rose and give her back the box. She opens the fridge and grabs a plastic carton of milk. She puts the milk down and opens the cereal.

“Here you go… Monika…” She turns towards me with a filled bowl in her hands.

“My world famous Cinnamon Toast Crunch… Heh…”She turns around, bowl in hand. I take it from her hands… _They’re shaking… She REALLY needs some sleep._

“Welp! Time to go back to the computer!” _What!? At least eat something…_

“Wait!” She turns back towards me.

“What about your breakfast?” Right as I ask that her stomach growls lightly.

“Shit… Okay… Okay…” She smiles at me, and heads back towards the kitchen. She opens another cabinet, and grabs a loaf of bread. She opens it and puts it into a toaster under the cabinet.

“There. Quick and easy. _Now_ I can go back to my game.” She goes over to the couch instead.

“After my toast finishes… that is…” She starts mumbling about unattended microwaves and almosts.

I giggle, and come over to the couch. We sit in silence before Rose gets up.

“I should probably turn on the lights.” She goes over and turns on the light. I can hear her giggling though. She sits back down, and takes out her phone. Her face lights up as she taps.

“Hey… Monika… Can we take a selfie? You know… cause…” She looks over at me.

“Sure!” She smiles and scoots closer to me, before holding out her phone. She puts her arm over me. It’s nice and warm…

_Ding!_

“Oh heck! My toast!” She swiftly walks back over to the toaster and takes out the toast.

“Wanna go back to my room? I mean… If you want you can watch TV or play some video games…” She stammers a little bit, a blush forming on her face.

“Let’s go back to the room.” She brightens up.

“Alrighty! I have a 2DS with some games on it… Or my Ipod…” She walks back over to her room, toast already gone. I follow her, bowl in hand.

“How about my breakfast?” I giggle again… _She’s so cute when she gets worked up. She’s pretty._

I pause. _What. Did… I just…_

“Oh! R-right… Sorry, M-Monika…” She’s stuttering again. She goes back into the bedroom. I follow quietly behind her, closing the door. _Pretty? I… I mean… Her eyes… Her hair… She’s adorable… yet so… Sexy? No. I mean…_

I pause again, but Rose is already back on the computer. _God…_

I start eating the cereal I’ve been given. It’s slightly soggy. But that’s probably because I waited too long to eat it. _Oops._ _God… Why are my thoughts everywhere?_

“Did you know that the chance for life beyond Earth is pretty high?” _What? Life beyond Earth? Oh… Must be due to her game…_

“How high?” She pauses for a moment, before taking out her phone and searching up the answer.

“Do you want the pessimistic or optimistic _or_ the realistic option?” She looks up over to me.

“Give me… the realistic numbers…” She looks down at her phone, tapping and sliding at a furious pace. _Is she reading an article about it… At that speed? She must be a quick reader…_

“It’s about 100… 100 civilizations that have communicative abilities. Scary really…” She sighs, and then looks over at me.

“But then again… You’re here… Basically living proof that either the simulation theory is true… or that their is indeed a multiverse… Which is amazing… Which means… That life does exist in space...  Sorry… Am I rambling? I do that a lot when I get excited…” I shake my head and giggle.

“No… No… You’re not rambling… You’re just excited… I mean… This probably breaks a few laws of physics or something like that.” She quickly shakes her head.

“Not the laws of physics… I doubt it would… Maybe the laws of thermodynamics. Creating matter and destroying it…” She’s smiling again. _Good… She’s enjoying herself…_

“The laws of thermodynamics? What’s that?” And that’s how the rest of the night was spent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't enjoy this chapter, it's understandable... This one was made in the course of a few days... So my train of thought and etc. where just jam packed with ideas and such... And I've been reading a lot of Portal fanfiction... And... Discord... That sums it up. Actually... I might rewrite it... I'll wait and see...


	9. Overwhelming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this before the new Stellaris DLC was released I swear. Of course I have to fix it know... Anyways... This one's a bit longer than the other chapters, almost 1,500 words... Which means I'm getting better... I believe... Uh... Enjoy!

_ She’s finally asleep. Thank God. She’s left her computer on, and she’s left all of her devices out for me. She did have to take some pills though beforehand. _ I approach the computer, and take a seat in the office chair. I wiggle the mouse a little bit, and the screen lights up.

_ Steam? I think that’s the same thing that…  _ He _ had… _

I scroll through the list of games.

_ There are so many… But she said that she got most of them due to Steam sales or for free… _

I see it. Doki Doki Literature Club. My blood chills, just…

_ God… This is… Frightening to see… Rose told me not to open this though. She feared I might get traumatized… Seeing my friends… God… _

I feel warmness running down my face.  _ Oh… It’s tears. I’m such a mess aren't I. Ha ha… _

I click away from it, and onto the game Rose was just playing.

_ This looks fun… But I don’t want to disrupt her save. Maybe I should do something else… _

I get up, and stretch a little bit. I grab the Ipod and unlock it. I swipe around a little, seeing what apps Rose has. There isn’t much. I set it down and look over at the aforementioned girl.  _ She’s so cute when she sleeps… She’s taken off her hoodie as well…  _ I look closer… There’s a bruise on her… neck...  _ Oh my god… Is that… Did she… attempt to kill herself… Oh my god! OH MY GOD! _

I hover my hand over the bruise, fighting back the tears that are threatening to flow. She shifts slightly in her sleep, muttering nonsense. I retract my hand, just in case. I take a deep breath, and get up. I walk out of the room, stumbling a little, tears starting to fall down my face. _Why would she do that?! She’s amazing! The pills…_ I take a few steps towards the bathroom. I open the door, and quickly shut myself in. I open the cabinets, looking for the pill bottles. _There they are!_ I grab them all, and exit the bathroom. I go back to the bedroom, and sit back down. I turn towards the keyboard, and start typing the names on the bottles.

_ Strattera… ADHD medicine… Buspar… Anxiety medicine… Trazodone… Antidepressant… Oh my god… Depression? Sayori had depression… Maybe that’s why Rose is so nervous around me…  _

I take a look at Rose… Her graceful figure… Her light breath…  _ Why… She played Doki Doki… She… The game must have affected her to her core. Seeing Sayori’s… body… Yuri’s slow descent into madness and… suicide… seeing Natsuki like she had… I loved all of the players… I hurt my friends for the players… But all it did was make it worse… God… I really am a monster…  _

I back away, slowly…  _ I can’t just leave though… She’ll panic… but if I stay she might snap… God… Why did I do this to her…  _ I put the bottles back into the bathroom, and go back into the bedroom. I sit down on the foot of the bed, debating if I should leave or not… That is until Rose start’s crying. It began as a light sniffle, and then it devolved into a full blown sob. 

“Rose? Rose! Wake up, Rose!” I start shaking her, being mindful in case she has any other bruises or… cuts… 

“I’m up… I’m up…” She sits up, and I grab her into a hug. I start crying into the crook of her neck.

“Why did you do this to yourself Rose?” She looks around, exhausted, before laying her head on my shoulder.

“Do what?” She slightly slurs her words, and starts rubbing her eyes.

“Play Doki Doki Literature Club! You went against the warning! That was put there for a reason!” I get back up, looking into her eyes.  _ So, so tired. _ She looks confused for a moment, before looking at the computer. 

“H-H-How did you know I have a-anxiety and d-d-d-depression?” She looks back over at me.

“The… bruise…” She rubs her neck, before her eyes widen in terror.

“You… I… Ah... “ She sighs, and takes a deep breath. 

“I’ve had depression and anxiety for a while now… Way before I played D-D-L-C. And I thought what was the worse that can happen in this cute, little game. And I was so engrossed into the club members… And then Sayori… And Natsuki… And Yuri… And you… I finished the game. And then I went back in for the ‘Happy’ ending… I learned so much about you guys… I… I wanted  _ all _ of you to have a happy ending… But I didn’t know coding… Or programming or art design… Or any of that stuff… I just had my words… And even then… It wasn’t a true happy ending…” She sighs again, and rubs her neck.

“This bruise… is from before D-D-L-C was even released… I… My… Parents…” She takes a deep breath again, tears forming in her eyes.  _ Her parents? Is she going to tell me what happened to them? _

“Please continue… If you want to…” She shakes her head.

“I’ll… continue.” She takes a deep breath, and I wipe off the tears that have started falling down her face.

“My… parents… no… My entire family… Let me… Agh…” I shush her, and she takes another deep breath.

“Okay… I used to have two little brothers as well… We all lived with my father and my step-mother… She was so nice to me… disciplined as well… They were going to one of my little brother’s events… And… I decided to stay here… I was so stupid… I told them to take care… I should have been there… God…” She’s starting to hyperventilate. I hush her once more.

“Don’t you dare blame yourself for something you couldn’t control! Rose, if you had been in whatever had happened… Who would have saved me! Who would be taking care of Rex? Who would have… I don’t know! Who would have been here… Anybody… I’m… I’m lucky I didn’t run into anybody who… had lesser intent.” She seems shocked, like she wasn’t used to people caring about her, or… 

“I… I’m sorry… You’re right…” She takes a breath, and she shifts over to the wall, leaning back onto it. She pats the space next to her. I stay still for a moment, before getting closer to her. I can hear they faint pitter-patter of rain. Rose hears this and smiles, faintly.

“My family where going to an event, and it had been raining a lot. It had also been in the teens, the temperature that is… And… They were driving through the rain… On the nearby highway… And… They were t-boned. By a goddamned drunk driver… In a fucking jacked-up truck. They all died in the crash… God…” I can hear her stifling a sob, but she fails. I hug her, and rub her shoulder.

“I miss them so much! It’s fucking bullshit! God!” I let her lay her head on my shoulder. I can feel warmness on my shoulder, her sobbing getting louder and louder. I rub her back, and attempt to soothe her.

“I know… I know what it’s like to lose everybody you love… Rose… Look at me… Please… Look at me…” She gets off, slowly, and she looks into my eyes. Those beautiful hazel eyes. It’s like I can see her soul… Years of depression, hurt, and heartache.  _ Why is this reality so cruel to someone so amazing… It’s… bullshit… That’s what it is… bullshit… _

“You’re…” I hesitate… This feels familiar… 

_ Y̪o̡̜u͏̼̞͍̞’̛̣̜͙̣l̟̪̳̩̥l͕̺̝͍͇̹̗ ̜͍͚͘a̸̤̦͇̮l͏̮̘ͅw̛̙ay̗̠̥s̶ ̸̝b̖̣̫͘e͔͟ ̷̣͇͈͔̦̬my͔ ͉̼̙̣͖b҉̥̞̜̣͚̞̥ę̱̺̠͎͇͉̳s̖̣̲̞͍̖t̸̲̲͈̯̻͕̣ ͏̝͍f̡̘r͍̟ie̴̥̩͖̰͙͓̮n͍̲͔͉͙d̷͎̣̰.̳͎͓ͅ  _

_ Oh… Of course… Sayori’s confession… _

“You’re an amazing person Rose… You’re smart… And well… I’m very lucky I ended up into your life.” She looks up at me, her eyes brightened. She smiles, a genuine smile, and she starts crying again.

“Why are you crying now?” I wrap her up in another embrace.

“I’m just so happy… I’ve… I haven’t smiled like that for a while now… Thank you so much Monika… Thank you…” We stay together like that, and we drift into a peaceful slumber together.


	10. Weight Of The World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... The Great Gatsby my dudes... I've been reading it, and I recently saw the 2013 adaptation... And... I'm hecka gay for Gatsby. Like... Holy shit... Hella gay. So... That might happen... A fanfic of Nicksby or an AU or... Idk... But the soundtrack is litty... hehehe litty... Anyways... Yeah... This one's shorter than the last one, but that's because this one gets good. At least, that's what I hope happens...

“-Onika… Monika!” I can hear a voice… and movement.

“Five more minutes…” I hear myself mutter. 

“Monika… I gotta go to school…” It’s Rose. Right… She’s 17 years old… She has school today…  _ Damn it. I just wanna sleep… and continue cuddling her…  _

“No… I’m sure you can skip… You seem-” I open my eyes, to Rose, already dressed, backpack already slung onto her shoulder.

“I can’t skip… I might get into more trouble… Besides… I’m finishing The Great Gatsby in English today… So I’m not gonna miss that... “ She seems excited, if a little bit tired.

“The Great Gatsby? I’ve… heard of it… It’s an American novel right?” She nods rapidly.

“Oh yes! But it’s been adapted into cinema twice… And the 2013 adaptation is amazing! The soundtrack, the visuals, the actors! Amazing! We’ve been watching it in English recently…” She’s practically jumping.

“Oh! Right… I’ve written my passwords for my computer in a note in the living room… I don’t have much stuff to do other than video games and movies… However! Uh… Shit… I don’t remember… But, uh… Yeah… Oh! I do have some books in my closet!” She goes over to her closet and opens it. I can see a makeshift bookshelf in there, filled with books, papers, and more movies.

“Oh… When are you going to be home?” She turns back towards me.

“Around three o’clock. Wait… I might need to go shopping… No wait… I already did that… Yeah… Then three o’clock. Oh right… I have some cereal… And I have stuff to make some PB&Js. Actually… I already poured you a bowl of cereal, and there are two PB&Js in the fridge for you… I have plenty of water… I don’t think you need anything el- Actually! Could you take out Rex… about every two hours please. All you have to do is open the door and he’ll go outside and then he’ll come back.”  _ She made breakfast for me? That’s so sweet! But… Why? _

“Thank you, Rose… I… haven’t slept like that in… well… For as long as I can remember…” I really haven’t slept much… There was when the game was turned off, and that was it… She blushes lightly… 

“It… Well… I was going to thank you as well… Ha ha… I haven’t slept like that in a while…” She’s blushing still.  _ I wonder… _

“Would it be alright if we could sleep together like that? I mean… if it’s benefiting both of us, then I don’t see a reason why we shouldn’t sleep together.”  _ Maybe this wasn’t the best thing to do... _

“Sur- Wait what!? I mean… Yeah… but… that’s… sleeping together is what… couples do… Right? I mean… we don’t have to  _ not _ sleep together… So… Sure…”  _ Wait what… really? Nice… _

“Okay, cool… Is… there anything else before you go?” She starts counting her fingers, probably to remind her, and then she shakes her head.

“Nope. Nothing I can think of.” She nods unconvincingly, but she shrugs and walks away.

“Have a good day… Rose…” She stops and turns around. She’s blushing a little bit. 

“You… You too Monika. Heh heh…” She rubs the back of her neck, and she stumbles away. I go back into the room, and I can hear the front door locking.

_ Now what… I could…  _ As I open the bedroom door, I-

_ EYAH! OH GOD! _

It’s Yuri. Or… rather her corpse. 

The dried blood.

The knife.

That slowed-down, demented theme.

I stumble backwards, I can feel myself getting sick. Luckily, there’s a bathroom right beside the bedroom. I close the bedroom door, tears already running down my face.

_ Oh god… _

I get down on the toilet’s level, and I can’t stop dry heaving.

_ I’m sobbing… _

I hear the dog barking, and the slam of the front door, as well as something falling and crashing.

“MONIKA! MONIKA! WHERE ARE YOU MONIKA!? ARE YOU OKAY!?” Is that… Is that Rose?

The bathroom door flies open, and I immediately feel a warmth surrounding me. All I can hear is my sobs.

“Shh… Shh… It’s okay… I’m sorry… I can… I’ll tell them I’m sick… I won’t be back… for a few days… Moni? Are you okay?” She’s rubbing my back. All I can do is cry, and dig deeper and deeper into Rose’s neck. 

“It’s all my fault! I’m a fucking monster! I don’t deserve this! I do-” She puts her hand over my mouth, muffling me. I can barely see, but… Tears are starting to come down her face.

“Don’t you fucking say that… Don’t you dare say that shit… You know that’s a lie… I… God…” She uncovers my mouth, and I’m once again surrounded by warmth. 

“Please… Don’t say those things… I… No… You just did what anyone in your situation would have done… No… No… You’re… Too… Beautiful… You’re too beautiful to be a monster…” There’s no other sounds, other than our sniffling, and the dog whining.

“I… I… I…” She seems, stuck trying to say something, but she stops. A spark of… Lust? Passion? In her eyes… She grabs my hands. I can hear her breathing… It’s becoming more… Haggard… More… Slow. Our eyes… She’s staring into my eyes, and vise versa.  _ So much… passion. _

I’ve just realized… We’re mere inches away from each other’s face. My breathing starts getting slower. And then she goes forward. Her lips on mine.  _ It’s electric.  _

Her eyes are close, but mine aren't. She moans softly, her hand grasping around for the bathroom door. She finds it, and pushes the door close. I decide to explore just how far I can go. My tongue looks for an opening, and I can feel Rose moaning a little bit more. I quickly decide to explore her mouth with my tongue, feeling every crack and nook. She moans once more, and I can feel her grip softening up. And just like that, it’s over. We’re both panting, and I can feel my face blushing pretty hard. But Rose, she’s turned into a… well… Rose…  _ Haha… _

“I… I…” I put a finger to her lips.

“Shh… I love you too.” She sheepishly smiles, and she quickly goes to hug me. I accept and we’re both just on her bathroom floor hugging.

“Oh my god… That was pretty fucking gay, Monika.” She deadpans. And suddenly starts laughing. And I join in. We’re both just laughing our asses off, as we’re  getting up off the bathroom floor.

“But… for real… Like… What…” I put my finger on her lips again.

“I think I can be your girlfriend.” She nods, excited.

_ So much for The Great Gatsby, eh? _

“I’m going to call the school later… Tell them I’m sick and I won’t make it for a few days.” I nod, we leave the bathroom. A big smile on her face. _Maybe that’s why she was so nervous around me…_ _‘Cause she loves me… And… I love her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO! I'm thinking of continuing the DDEC story... but idk... So... Yeah...


	11. The Good In Me

“So… Monika… I…” Rose and I are sitting on her bed, lying back on the wall, with pillows on our backs. I turn slightly towards her, a blush on her face, as she stammers through her question.

“Why… Why did you scream out? I… You don’t have to answer if it’s… uh… Personal…” I shake my head softly, and frown a bit.

“I… It’s fine… I… I saw…” I can feel tears stinging at my eyes. Rose hugs me, and I start weeping gently into her arm.

“I saw Yuri… I saw her… body… I… was going into the bedroom, and I walked into… Well… That terrible weekend scene… God…” I hear shushing from Rose, as she hugs me tighter.

“Is… Have… Have you been seeing… Seeing the girls? Is that why you’ve had nightmares?” She seems… sad.

“Yeah… I’ve seen Sayori… and… I just saw Yuri… God…” I can feel tears in my eyes.

“I… Survivor’s Guilt. I have that… Being the only survivor of my family… Well… I have… dreams… of… my parents… and siblings…” I can see tears, in the corners of her eyes. She wraps her arms around me again, and I can hear her taking deep breaths. My shoulder can feel tiny drops of wetness. She’s silently weeping.

I rub her back some. We sit there for a while, just… Crying.

After a while, Rose gets off me, and she presses her head on my forehead.

“It’s going to be okay. I… I can’t promise… but… I can… try. Everything is going to get better…” She has a resolve in her eyes, it’s amazing. She smiles, and puts her thumb up.

“This… reminds me of an anime protagonist… eheheh… Well… I’m going to call my school… Okay?” I nod, and she gets up, taking her phone out of her pocket. She goes out of the room, she’s also turned on her computer. I lean back onto the wall, and close my eyes. _This is what I really wanted… What I wanted all of my friends to have…_ I sigh, lightly, so as not to disturb the call.

“Yeah… I’m a little bit sick… Yeah… I did… I know… But… I’m coughing bad… And my nose is runny… I really don’t want to risk it… Okay… I’ll ask one of my friends to send me the homework… I know… I… I won’t try anything stupid… I’ll be sure to call my caseworker telling them I need some time off… And my boss as well… Don’t worry… please… Yes sir… Thank you…” I hear Rose sigh.

“There we go… I have to call my caseworker in the morning and at night, as well as the principle… I’m going to call my caseworker first, and then my boss… You can play on my computer if you want… I have Portal installed if you want to play it. I also have other games… Half Life… Stellaris… Overwatch… Oh… I also have my Crunchyroll account… I have quite a few anime in my queue that I’ve already finished.” She’s tapping on her phone, at such a fast speed. She walks out of the room again. I get off the bed, and go sit in the swivel chair. I type in the password, and wait for the computer programs to start running. I turn towards the door and attempt to listen in.

“Hello… Mary… Yes ma’am… I’m a little bit sick today… I’m not going to be able to go to school for a few days… I know… Yes ma’am… Yes ma’am… I’ll call you every morning and night… Yeah… I’m going to call my boss as well… Thank you ma’am.” Rose walks back into the room.

“Talking to people is so tiring… How do you do it…” She rubs her eyes a little bit.

“I… don’t know… I’ve only talked to 4 other people… And even then… It… I was being cruel. And… disconnected.” Rose hugs me again, and rubs my back. I embrace her as well, and I feel a tear or two running down my face. Rose sighs, before rubbing my head.

“I’m going to call 2 other people okay… I’ll be back.” She walks back out of the room again, tapping her phone as she walks.

“Hello… Boss man? Hey… I’m calling in a sick day or two… Yeah… I’m sick… My caseworker and principle already called you? Cool… Thanks boss.” Rose comes back into the room, and flops on her bed.

“I really don’t wanna talk to one of the boys at Vo-Tech… But they’re basically my only ‘friends’ who go to the school.” She taps the phone a few more times, before putting it to her ear.

“Hey… Styler… I’m going to need you to get my classwork… I’m sick… Yeah… Dude… Come on… Don’t joke like that… Please? Thanks… Tell the guys I said hey… Oh… Tell Mr.S that I said sorry for missing out. Thanks dude… Bye…” She hangs up and taps on her phone again. She’s texting now. She must be pretty busy. Steam’s finally loaded, and I see the huge list of games again. _She said Portal was installed… Maybe… we could watch Anime together… That would be nice…_

“Hey Rose? Could we watch Anime together? Something cute perhaps…” Her eyes light up a little bit.

“We could watch Gabriel Dropout… That’s really moe. Of course we could watch Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid… Or… Monster Musume… Which one do you want to watch?” _There’s so many choices… Hmm..._

“How about that first anime? Gabriel Dropout. That sounds pretty good…” She smirks a little bit…

“You must be warned… Satania is very powerful in convincing people that she is best demon! After all… she is the future queen of Hell!” _What? Sa...Satania? It must be one of the characters…_

She’s doing some sort of laugh, and she just starts laughing for real. She takes my hand and we go into the living room. She fiddles around with two remotes for a little bit, and then the anime comes on. Rose scoots closer to me and she hugs me.

“I love you, Moni…” She’s blushing a little bit. _Let me make you less awkward…_ I give her a kiss on her nose.

“Love you too, babe.” Now she’s really blushing, and she’s smiling. We turn our attention to the antics on the TV. We continue to cuddle on the couch like this for a while. I love it, and I love her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaah! I've been fangasming over The Great Gatsby... And I've been binging Re:Zero... as well as playing a lot of Half-Life 2... And... Talking to my boyfriend... Sorry... Ehehehe...


	12. Morning In America

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest and Lewdest Chapter I've Ever Written.jpg

We watched TV for a while, before two o'clock rolled around, and Rose got up and grabbed the PB&Js. We went back down, and she turned on the TV. We finished Gabriel Dropout, and she then suggested Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid. We’re currently on episode 4, but after lunch Rose said she was getting restless, so we both went to the room, with Rex following us.

Rose sits on her bed, and I sit into her office chair, while Rex jumps onto the bed.

“What do you want to do, Moni?” Rose smiles lightly and she blushes even harder. I didn’t know that this was the fate that awaited me in this world…  _ I’m really lucky… _

“I don’t know… What do you normally do when you’re  _ sick _ ?” Rose blushes  _ even more red. _

“I… I ahhh… I normally… Shave… and then… take a nice long bath… After cleaning myself… I… Uh…” She stutters through the sentence, and she’s starting to focus on everything other than me. All the while, her face becomes more and more red.

“ I normally... … ” She covers her mouth with her hand, and her entire body is starting to get red.  _ What? What do you mean you normally?  _

“What do you normally do, Rose? You don’t… hurt yourself… do you?” Rose is quick to jump onto the defense.

“No! No no no no! I haven’t cut for at least… 3 or 4 days now. No… I… After cleaning myself in the bath… the nice warm bath… I…” Rose chokes up a little bit around the end, and I start rubbing her back. 

“It’s okay dear! It doesn’t really matter… as long as you don’t hurt yourself…” Rose shakes her head again. She gets that… Lustful… look again, before it quickly disappears again. 

“I… I masturbate! There… I… I… I didn’t want to worry you, babe… I’m sorry… It’s su-”  _ Oh. Oh… well who doesn’t… why is she so embarrassed about it… Unless…  _

“Darling! Who doesn’t masterbate? Honestly… Is it that big of a deal… In fact… I masterbate! Sayori, and Natsuki masterbated! Even… Yuri… she masterbated…” Rose shudders slightly.

“Don’t! Don’t remind yourself of them! Don’t… please… And… Well… I… I don’t know… I guess… You just had a lapse… I don’t know… I’m sorry…” Rose’s face is still burning red, in fact…  _ I can feel the embarrassment… or… I think that’s something else… _

“It’s probably because we’re both girls, and the fact that we’re in a small, baptist town. In Missouri. Right smack dab in the ‘Bible Belt’... Right bye the Mason-Dixon line… I grew up surrounded by christians… And… My first step-mother… she… both her and my father knew I was probably going to be a lesbian, or maybe even bisexual… And my first step-mother didn’t like that. So she beat me… She beat me and verbally abused me… She also started to beat my dad… She almost killed him… I hate her so much… but… My father had already forgiven her… I don’t know… I’m sorry I bothered you about this…” Rose’s eyes are glazed over slightly, and I can see tears forming in her eyes. I go over to her and cuddle her. She seems shocked, but I just nuzzle deeper into her chest. She’s blushing a tad bit, but she seems to have stopped crying. She wraps her hands around my head, and sets her head down on top of my head. She sighs, as Rex crawls through the small space between the both of us, and we start petting him. She smiles again, and I let go my breath I was holding. Rose eyes shine brightly, and she stops rubbing Rex’s belly.

“I know something we could do… well… I mean if you’re okay with it… that is… eh eh eh eh… I could teach you how to play one of my strategy games… And… You can… sit on my lap? I mean if it’s okay with you?” She looks down, blushing pretty heavily. Rex is looking at Rose, probably demanding more belly rubs.

“Wow… that’s kinda… lewd… I mean… I do want to learn more about this world… And I assume that I’ll learn a lot from you…” Rose’s eyes widen, as if I had become a ghost or something… And she hugs me.

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!” I get up and offer Rose the chair, she sits down, and without saying a word, I sit on her lap. 

“Can you see? Am I too heavy? Do yo-” Rose pats my head, and she puts her head on my head. She wraps her arms around me, and sighs.

“Name an topic. Any topic you want to learn about…” Rose shifts my weight a little, and I can feel her lean back into the chair.

“What is this world like? Is it as great as I made it out to be?” Rose pauses, and she sighs.  _ It seems this world isn’t all it’s cracked up to be… _

“Well… The USA and Russia are at each other’s throats… North Korea is… Actually… North Korea’s taken a chill pill… Thank fuck. America recently had an election… And… Gun shootings have become common place in America.” Rose shakes her head, and clicks on a game called Victoria 2.

“What’s that you’re playing?” She giggles and asks me if I remember Stellaris. I nod, and she starts talking about how they connect. I lean back into Rose, and close my eyes. Listening to her tell a story of Napoleon, Prussian unification, and the liberal springtime.

“Fucking socialists… I just wanna make a fascist Zulu… That sounds terrible… But… It sounds so cool… Oh… You don’t know the context of that… ehehehe…” I watch Rose get more and more comfortable, while watching Rose control a tiny South African country. 

“Lemme get… Some… Ah ha! Music…” I watch as she turns on Spotify and I can hear guitars and yelling.

“Sabaton always goes with Paradox… Zulu’s attack! Fight back-to-back!” I can feel Rose’s knees starting to bounce. I’m bobbing my head along to the guitar when Rose puts the headset onto my ears suddenly. 

“You feel that babe? That’s the power… You can feel the hordes of Zulu attacking… Thousands of men with sticks… 150 British men with machine guns. One British soldier against twenty Zulus… Amazing… My grandmother showed me a movie covering the battle at Rorke’s Drift… I loved it. Holding out with modern weaponry against thousands of shields and spears… It showed me how technological superiority was key to defeating anybody… It showed how intelligence always won out, defying brute strength.”

She giggled, and I see a fire in her eyes. The fire of war, and prestige, and power. Rose could do anything she set her damn mind too, consequences be damned.

“I mean… I guess it would sound racist if I said I loved the battle of Rorke’s Drift… I mean… It’s just so  _ interesting _ ! Like Thernopolye or the trench warfare in World War One! A last stand… Oh shit! The French are getting dragged into my war! Fuck fuck fuck fuck! Fucking Frenchies!” I watch as arrows and the map changes rapidly. I can feel her stress. 

“Do you want me to get off?” I promptly feel Rose wrap an arm around me. She puts her head on my shoulder and I can feel her teeth grit slightly. 

**d̛̛̠̼͙͌ͩ̃ͯͦ͂̚͢ͅọ̙̬̤̠̳͔̞͑̿ͥ̐̋̍ͯͅn̈̋ͧ̆͆̂̓͑͠҉̼̦̺͠'̡͙̠̮̮͊̒̓̊̉͞t̖̙̱̒̽ͮ͡ ͦ̌҉̴̹̰̘̜͙̳y̶̻͉̮̣̣̞̭͎̓ͥ͑͘͜ơ̷͖͚͂̓̕u̷̝͖ͧ̽ͥͦ͂͊̃ͅ ͍̱̰͔̑ͦ̓š̨̛̳͔̎e̩̠̞͔̹͉̼ͫͤ̐̇̓̃͆e̡̖̬̥̹͎̗͔̜ͮ̀ͪͅ.̟̥̱͚͙͔̘̿̅̆̾̿ͪ͋͐̚.̛̂̒ͪ̈́͌͂ͩ͝҉̟͍.̘̯̜͕̺̩̝͓̉͒ͧ̃ ̶̨̯͔̰̳̣̗̻̪͂ͭ̍y̴̫̟̜̓̿̄͐ͬ̆ͦ͌͜ơ̵̠̭͉̟͑̍̊̽̈́̂̿ų̷̫̳̔ͩͦ̃ͦ̎̉ͥ̄r̚͏̴͎̝̝̝̟̯̮e̴͓̒ͦ͌̍ͫ͛̊͊͘ ̠̜̭̺͋̔ͥ̉ͦ̕͝ģ̷̮͖̰̣͊̒̃̎͟i̧̫̬͂̓ṟ̨̳̤ͮ̐͠l͉̤̩̺͍͚̖̩̃͑̏͟f̠̹͚͉̠̘͇̬̣̉ͩ̓ͪͬͤ̑̓r̰̳̥͍̲͇̺̙̂ͣͦ̃́̓ͧȋ̶̵̯͎̝͖̺̦̪͐͋͒ͭ̐ͣ͗̔e͙͈͖̹͚̱͈̦͂̔̔͂̓̔͘n̨̩͎̘̟͓̬̝̖̍̅ͩ̿͟ͅd͇̠̙̳͈͎̫̦͋̍͑ͩ̎͛̅ͪ ̻̪̄ͮ͊̊̿͆̚̕͘͝i͖̲͒̿̽͌̽́ͯ͘s̪͛̃̅͆̓̔̀̀ ̵̧̲̰̳̩̐́̔̿̍ą̬̻̘̩̩̉ͩ͞ ̦̹̓̃̽͜͡m̴͂̏҉̹͇o̧̺͎̞͚̘ͬ̓̓̆̈̈ͭ͞ñͣ̌̌̔ͧ͏̯s̶̝̜̄ͪ͂ͫ̎̌́͆t̸̸̛͖͔ͭ́̊e̴̴̘͙̪͂̄͗̋r̛̜̟ͨ̉ͮ̐ͨͨ̆̑͝͡ ̴̢̹̘̦̻̲̲̗̯̽ȧ̶̩̘̗̦̝̫̣ͧͧ̍ͪ͗n̢͔̲ͪ̎d͙̻̹͎̪̣̦́̃̑̈́ͤ͛ͧͦ͘͞ ̢̲̯͖́̐ͨ̌ṣ̢̢̤̯̪̫̱͓̦͛͋ͬ͑̉̒͟ó̜̻̜̦ͬ̊ͩ͒͊̓̇͡ ͛̏ͭ͏̸̣͉̙͓͙̝̺̺͢aͥ͂ͫͩ̐͗̉ͩ҉̘̰̳r̴͕̻̫̲ͤ̐͐͗̈́ͅě̯͖̙̘͔͛͡ ̢̦͔̝͉̥͈̝ͫ̿͋͐͛ͣ̂͞y̶̸̥̭ͮ̉̓͗͌̾ó̞͒̎u̢̝̹ͥ̈̐ͦ͑̇̄̇͛͜.͓̌͌͂ͮ̕.̤̖̬̜̰̖̺̜̿ͧ̐͊͠.͚̺̙͛͌ͧ**

I hear a faint whisper, not a part of the song…  _ What was I thinking about again? _ I watch as a swirl of colors engulf the map.

“Thank god Prussia is stronger than normal… The weakened Russian state also helps. Being in a Great War as a secondary power is spooky shit.” The terms are starting to confuse me… I know some, and others I’m completely lost on. I just close my eyes and focus on the music… When I hear it again.

**ṁ̪͖̼ͤ̒ͤ͆͝͝͠ō̲̟̖̟͓͍̬͌̍̑ͯ̊ͫ͘ṋ̡̢͈̠͎͕̲̞̱̓š̛͍̫̮̰͔̻͇̺ͭ͘͘t̸͕̬̹̞̍ͧ̈ͣ̐͝͠ͅë̴̬́͊r̫͚̲̤͚̩̰̽ͅŝ̸̮̗̈́̋̽ͭͥ̋ ̡̼̖̞͈͔͙̐̆ͧ̅́l̛͖͍̫̦̇̎̓̎̎ͪͣ̀͂͡i̷͓̬̹̞̟͕̱̍ͯ̚ͅk̭̝̲͂̆e̞̣͓̻̻̙͉̪ͩͣͦ͐̌̏̈͌ͦ ̛͕̫͊͛͗͌ͧͪ͆̚y̾̽̓̏̇̀҉̙̥͉͉ǒ̱̺͎̖̳̞͆ͯ̚u̢͍̼̐̈͒̒ͥ̔ͨͤ͠ ̷̵̯̮̝̓͆ͧͤ͗̽ͯ̀͒a̛̬̭̼̗̺̎ͮn̹̍̾̋͟d̷̨͔̻̋̋͋͋̓̾͋͑͜ ͆̐́̿ͥ̈͛̽́͏̠̞r͙̀̐͛̄̑ͦ͋ͪ̍ȍ̶̡ͩͩͤͬ̑̉҉͉̱̱̯ͅͅs̸̶͓̰͔̮̱̣̍̈́̚ẻ̶̜̹ͪ̊̆ͪͨ ̻̬̜̠͉͓̱̞̞ͣ̿̂d̦͇͋́́̇ǒ̶̸̟͕̫̤͙̗̄̀͒̇͛͡n̖̣̻͑̋̄ͩ͋͋ͨ̐t͖̼̻̺̼̙̰ͮ̓́̉ͣ̌͘͟͝ ̸̴̟ͤ̾͋͑ͫ̂g̩̮̻̰̭͇͍̾ͩ̽̄͠͡e̛͕͎̼̞͔̤̜̰ͯ̄͘t͙͔͇͎͔̙̤̙͂̐͆́̀́̚͢ ͎͉̪̤͗ͮͩ͊̌̑ḫ̷̢͚̬̺̃̂ͭ̓̒̃ͫ͟a̷̦̖ͦͯ͝p̵͎̺̼͊ͣ̏͂̓ͯͫ͠p̧̢̛̘̰ͮͯ͒̓̊y̼͙̩̺̓̌ͩ̎ͧ ̘̠͚̤̭͓̣̘̥͐͑͘e̬̞̫̹̱̣̭ͣ̓ͮ̀͟n͕̺̬̫̖͆̍̎̐̋͛ͮ̈́͝d̸̛̗̦̫͓͖̠̝̗̱͗͛î̧͓̺̦̐̐͒̌͢n͉͓̈͋g̦̭̤̞̑͒ͩ̾̑̾͆s͐͌͋͆͆͋̔̄͞͏͕̼̬̱**

My eyes snap open. I hear Rose pause, and I can feel her gaze on me.

“Are you alright babe?” I lean back into her embrace.

“I think I’m hearing things…” I can feel Rose nuzzle my neck.

“What do you hear?” I wrap my hand around Rose, and I sigh.

“Something about monsters… I… I don’t know… It’s… Uh… Getting…” Rose must have done something, because I could feel her breathing starting to get ragged. 

“I-I’m sorry! I… A… Oh god… Maybe this wasn’t a good idea… I must be making you unfocused… With my… Breathing…” I can feel Rose getting flustered…  _ I mean… What’s wrong with teasing her a little bit… _

“I think maybe you’re getting a little distracted babe… Do you want me to make you feel better?” I rub her legs just a little, in a slight teasing motion.  _ Am I even doing th- _

A loud moan. And then I’m thrown onto the bed. I get glimpses of blonde hair rushing out of the room.  _ What happened?! _

I hear a door slam. I push myself off of Rose’s bed, and run out of the bedroom, to see the bathroom door shut, and the light on. I bang on the door.

“Rose! Rose! Are you okay!? Please… Did I do something wrong? Babe… Please…” I continue banging on the door. Rex is right beside me as I bang my fist against the door. He’s whining, and scratching at the bathroom door. I eventually stop banging, and I turn around, and slide down the door.

“Please… Rose… I’m sorry…” I hear the door unlock, and I slowly get back up. I open the door slightly, and I see Rose’s eye peering through the crack. 

“I’m sorry Moni… I… I panicked… You… I slipt… I let a moan out…”  _ Is she freaking out about that moan… I…  _

“It’s okay… I was teasing you… I didn’t ask if you were ready for that type of relationship yet…” The door rushes open and Rose jumps onto me. I can feel her lips on mine. It’s a hot second. We come apart.

“I’m okay with a more hands-on relationship… As long as you’re okay with it too, darling…” Her arms wrap around my torso as I kiss Rose back. I can feel her tongue exploring my mouth, and my hands slowly wrap around Rose’s hip. My hands grasp her ass, and I hear her moan softly.

“Moni… Let’s… Let’s take this to my room babe… Monika please…” I grab her hands, and we make our way to her bedroom, the dog whining. We make it to her door, and close it before the dog runs in. I push Rose onto her bed, and I crawl on top of Rose’s hip. 

“God… Just fuck me already…” I lean over towards her face, and whisper in her ear, “That would be no fun, now would it babe…” I proceed to kiss her neck, and I hear another moan. I can feel the heat from her body, and I can feel myself getting heated. 

“Babe… I love you so much…” I feel Rose’s hands go under my shirt, lifting it off of me, and hear it land somewhere else. My hands make quick work of her shirt, and I feel her fingers trace against my body. It’s electrifying. Her soft moans, her touch, her everything. I feel her lips on mine again, and I hear her moan as my tongue makes its way into her mouth. Her hands hook back as she undoes the bra strap. She seems to have a smaller bra than I do… Not that I care. Her hands slide down to my pants, and I feel the jeans getting undone. I rub my hands down her face, and I can see the lust in her eyes. She’s blushing pretty hard too, but that’s only natural I assume. I can feel her hands make their way from my back, to my chest, to my face. We both lean closer into each other’s kiss, and she lets out a louder moan. Her hands go down into her jeans, and she undoes the button, and unzips it, all the while slowly but surely wiggling out of her clothes. I hear the jeans land somewhere else, and I feel my jeans slowly coming off as well.

“H-Hey… Babe… Oh god… Babe…” I hear Rose’s voice, but the senses are overwhelming me. I hear Rose’s moan again, and I slow down.

“What… What is it honey?” I slow down to a stop, and I see Rose’s eyes. They’re filled with happiness, and are shining with tears.

“I… I love you… So much…” Her arms wrap around my back, and I feel her rub. I let out a soft moan, which causes Rose to moan louder. I lean back up, and just look at Rose’s body.

She has small cuts on her arms, up and down and sideways. But their are also small designs on them, lines and curves. I see cuts on her stomach, and small bruises, as well as the scar around her neck.

_ But… The scars are what make her more beautiful… She’s been through so much… _

I can feel the heat from her core, so I go back a little, and trace her thighs, up to her panty line. She’s wearing a pair of navy blue panties, and they’re pretty up there. They’re also wet and  _ very, very hot. _

_ I’m pretty sure the panties she bought me are ruined too…  _

Of course that doesn’t really matter right now, looking down at her face. Her smile, her eyes, her hair, her lips…  _ She’s so amazing… _

I slowly put my hand under her panties strap, and start bringing them down her legs and off.  _ She’s beautiful… _

I feel my panties getting taken off, and I slowly bring my own core onto her’s.  _ Holy shit! That… _

We both moan, and grasp for each other. I can feel wetness leaking out of both of us, and it makes our cores even more sensitive. Rose moans loudly, and I can hear, under our intense breathing, a small scratch at the door.

“Don’t… Oh my god… Mind the… Holy fuck… Dog… Please more…” I slowly put our cores together and we moan again. This time I add a slight sway to my hips, and I feel as Rose’s hips buckle out, and I hear a sharp inhale of breath. 

“Oh my god… Darling… Please… Make us both feel good…” I feel Rose’s hands grapple my back, and I shake my hips again. Rose moans again, and I let out a small cry.

“ _ Oh _ ! Oh my god… I’m… I’m gonna do my best Rose… Oh  _ god _ …” I rock again, and I start just perpetually moving my hips against Rose, who has also started to sway her hips opposite me. Our cores touch and dance, on and off, and our moans start following a rhythm, a rhyme. We touch, I moan, and then she moans, and we kiss. I feel Rose’s hands on my breasts, playing with my nipples and squishing them together. After a bit of fondling, she grabs my shoulders and starts gyrating up and down against my body. Her smaller chest starts going up and down, along with the rhythm of our love. I go for another kiss, this one longer than the last few kisses. Her eyes have faded to a darker shade of hazel, the intimacy of our lovemaking, causing her eyes to darken with desire and overwhelmed by her senses. We share that kiss for what seems to be eternity, and we moan into each others’ neck.   
“ _ God...I want you to fuck me so hard Monika… _ ” Her hair is everywhere too, so I run my hand down it, to at least straighten it out. It feels like the blankets we’re on.  _ God… To think I wanted to share this experience with The Player… Instead I get this sweet girl, who loves me and this experience… God… I love her… and only her.  _

“Moni… I think I’m…  _ Oh please… _ I’m about to… I’m about to…” I slow down, feeling a storm brewing around my core as well.

“Do you… Do you want to do this together?” She nods, and moans again. I speed up, as does she, and our moans start speeding up. Rose grabs onto my hip and starts bringing it closer to her hip. I can feel her clamping down on my back, and I moan loudly. This causes her to moan, and she slows down. I can feel it, it’s about to burst.   
“Ro-Rose! I-I’m about to c-cum!” Rose moans louder and louder, as do I. She grabs my hips, and I lean in for another kiss. We both finish up, and just stay like that for a while.

“Monika… I love you babe…” We curl underneath the covers and just hold each other, while whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears. 

“I love you too babe…” We fall asleep in each other’s arms.


	13. iRobot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning possibly? I mean... It's implies darker themes...

I awake to Rose’s naked body cuddling me, and Rex whining slightly.

“I love you too babe…” I look to Rose, who’s murmuring in her sleep, while holding me. I get up, and rustle her hair. I decide against waking her up. _I think I want to make her breakfast in bed. I mean… How hard can that be?_ I remove Rose’s arms, and put the small T-rex plushie she has in her arms. I take my legs off the bed, and wrap the blanket around Rose’s tall frame… _She is really tall… What… A good 6’1” tall girl… She probably was bullied for her taller height…_ I open the door, and I’m immediately assaulted by the smell. I look around and see multiple piles of… Rex got nervous… Didn’t he? Well… I did wake up first… I go to the washroom, taking care to close the bedroom door behind me, and carefully step over the piles, to the washroom. I open the toilet, and take some toilet paper. I double it up, and pick up the… droppings. I then take care of them. I keep doing this, and once I’m done, I flush it all. It doesn’t go down. _What. What’s happening? Why… Isn’t it going down… Isn’t it supposed to god down?! Oh god… I didn’t just break her toilet, did I?!? Shit! Fucking hell… Uh…_ I back away from the toilet and turn off the light. _At least she won’t wake up and see the piles of shit…_ There are now multiple brown stains on the carpet. _Shit…_ I look around for a rag of some sort, and… _On the oven’s handle!_ I grab that, and turn towards the sink. I turn on the faucet water, and douse the rag. I turn it off, and go towards the first stain, and begin rubbing the rag onto the stain. It starts to further stain the carpet. _Oh fuck. It’s getting worse! Maybe water wasn’t such a good idea…_ I look around, and see Rex coming out of the entry room. His tail is wagging, but it’s more tucked between his legs than not. I get off the ground, and go see what Rex’s done now. _He peed… In the house… Is he not housebroken?!_ I watch as Rex goes lay down by the glass backdoors. I sigh and go look for a towel, luckily there is one that I had used a few days ago, when I first arrived. I grab that towel, and walking around the stains, I put it on top of the little puddle. _Gross…_ _Does she normally leave him locked out of her room?_ I then go back into the kitchen, and wash my hands. I open the cabinets, looking for a pot or pan… _Ah ha!_ I take a copper pan out, and put it onto the oven. I look around for something to make… _Oh! Isn’t there some eggs in the fridge?_ I open the fridge and I’m immediately assaulted by another stench. I see a bowl of… Something… It’s wrapped up and covered. I take it out and uncover it. _I can’t even tell what this is supposed to be?!_ I gag a little, and throw the entire thing away. At least, I try, before noticing that there is trash in the trash can. I sigh, and place the thing onto the counter. I open the can back up, and grab the rim of the bag. There are small red handles, so I grab them, and lift it out of the trash can. I go over to the front door, by the piss towel, before realizing I don’t even know where this would go. _Damn it…_ So I place it on top of the towel, and go back to what I was doing originally… _Making Rose breakfast in bed!_ I go back over to the fridge, and I grab a small white container. It’s eggs… I think… There is a… particular smell coming off the eggs. _But it’s fine!_ I grab two eggs, and put them into the pan, and put the pan on the stove. _Is it working? I think I need to turn it on._ I look over to the controls, and see that there is _holy fuck that’s a lot of buttons._ I press the arrow pointing up a few times and press start. I hear a click, and all is well… _I think…_ I turn around and start making toast…

 

* * *

 

I awake to metal-on-metal noise. I rub my eyes, and look around. Monika isn’t in bed with me, and I smell a… _Oh shit… What happened last nigh- OH MY GOD! I… had sex with Monika… Oh… That would explain why I’m naked… And…_ I can feel my face grow a wee bit red. _There’s a mess… Oh god… It was so passionate… Oh…_ I realise that Rex must have gotten nervous… _I shouldn’t have went to sleep afterward… I have so much to do… Oh shit! I need to call my caseworker! And… Shit… What is that noise?_ I get out of bed, and put on a clean pair of clothes, and open the bedroom door. I poke my head out, and see multiple shit stains on the carpet… _Oh no…_ I go to the restroom, as I normally do when I wake up, and I open the door… To the stench of… well… It smelled like a dog died… I go over to the toilet, and… _It’s clogged?! God damn it… It’s fine…_ I go back to my bedroom and use the private restroom. I wash up, and go back out into the hallway. I turn the corner and see… _She’s not even clothed?!_ I see a naked Monika, she seems to have forgot that clothes are… well… _I guess it’s fine… I normally go through most of my weekends nude… But… Actually… I don’t have anybody coming over._ She seems to have not noticed my presence, so I sneak to the front door… _What the fuck is that… Is that… A piss towel… God damn it… And the trash… Great…_ I tie up the trash bag, and open the door. I put the trash in the bin in front of the garage, and quietly _slam_ on the door. _This is a pretty shitty start to the day…_ I hear Monika jump in fright, before calling out.

“Who’s there? I… I have a pan and I’m not afraid to use it!” I glance over to the towel, and see that the bag leaked some… Whatever on the towel… _I’m going to have to throw that one away… Damn it… That’s one of the last towels that the entire family had… God…_ I grit my teeth.

“It’s Rose. What’s up with all the brown stains… And, you know… The toilet… And what the fuck is up with the trash bag being out of the can? Also this piss towel was one of my last towels that… My entire family used… Damn it… Why?” _I think my voice is rising to a bad place… But god damn it! Who is she to fuck with_ my _house?!_ I walk into the kitchen, with my arms up.

“Also! Where the hell are your clothes? Like… What if I hadn’t been the one to come in? Then what?!” Monika jumps, surprised by my appearance, and she drops a pan on the ground… _Shit…_ It shatters the tile. I rush past her, and check the tile to see if there is anything I can do to fix it… _Fuck… I wish I payed attention to when my parents did this… Not that it would have mattered… I never listened. Until it was too late…_ I look over to Monika, and sigh. She attempts to pitifully cover up herself, but she fails.

“Just… Go to the room… Okay? Fucking… hell…” I watch as Monika steps around the stains, and I hear the door close. _Thank god I have my tablet right over there… Fucikng… God…_ I grab my tablet on the nearby table, and open up Spotify. I turn it up as loud as I damn want to… _I don’t want to hear her tears… Fuck… I’ll apologize… Just… Lemme see if I can fix this house._

 _“We still chase dead presidents… I tried to get some sleep on the flight…”_ I put the tablet down, and throw all of the dirty cloths into the laundry bin beside the trash can. _Hope I can restore the towel to at least some semblance of clean…_

 

* * *

 

I can feel the tears in my eyes. _God how could I be so stupid… I’m such a fucking idiot…_ My head is storming… I’m able to… I… I look for my pair of panties, before realizing they were ruined last night. _Fucking moron…_ I go to the grocery bag holding my… her clothes that she had given me… _God… I’ve fucked up… I ruined her nice house, and ruined something close to her… I should leave… All I’ve brought to the table is ruin… I’ve eaten her food, slept in her bed, taken her own fucking virginity… God… I… I’ll write a note… Yeah… And then I’ll leave…_ I get up and look around for a paper. I listen for Rose coming in, but she seems to be vacuuming the floor. I decide to just open a word doc on her computer, which nobody had turned off.

 _“Dear_ ~~ _Honey_~~ ~~_Darling_~~ ~~_Sweetie_~~ _Rose…_ _  
__I’m sorry this couldn’t work out… Our relationship… I just… I don’t know… I love you so much… And all I do is bring ruin… The club… The player… You… I’ve broken everybody’s heart and mind… I’ve decided I’m going back into the wilderness… And… Die… I guess… I sure as hell don’t have the skills to live in a house… So… I… I’m sorry…”_ I type out my name, and I hear the backdoor opening. I open the door, and peek the corner, and see Rose and Rex out there playing together… Somethings just aren't meant to be… Maybe you’ll find someone who actually knows what their doing. I sit and watch for a few moments, before I turn around and leave the house. I make my way through the bushes and foliage, and just walk in a random direction.

* * *

 

I take Rex inside after I play with him for a bit, and I sigh. _I was too hard on Monika… After all… She is technically only 4 to 5 days old. I guess… Damn… Officer? She’s in a 18 years old body! What do you mean, it’s illegal because she’s my senior?! Oh… Yeah…_ I open the bedroom door, and… _Where’s Monika?_ The clothes she had yesterday are still here, and I just… _What’s that on the computer? A note. . ._

 _Oh… W-What… I…_ I feel tears falling down my face.

“ _‘...Die…_ ’” _I don’t want her to die… I was the reason for this… I fucked up again… It’s proven it… I’m just a parasitic asshole…_ I sit down onto my desk, and take a look at the note. I minimize it, and go over to my more serious files, my taxes, important information, etc. _My notes. My research, other people’s notes, research. My first suicide note… It was written so elaborately… Heh… God… I should chase after her… But… Why… She was clearly suffering… I took her virginity, and then I yelled at her… How fucking stupid can I get… And this is why the family left you to die alone on this planet… You fucking idiot…_ I can feel my thoughts getting darker and darker, but I don’t do anything about it. _It’s not like their wrong… I fucked up. Big time._ I get up, as my tears start to fall down in increasing intervals. I sit back down, and open a new text document. My fingers fly through the keys, and I don’t even know what I’ve typed. I get up, and open my closet door… _There it is..._


	14. Guillotine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mfw 10th Doctor's regeneration is played on piano... ;-;

“Monika… What are you doing?” I pause, and turn around. It’s the-  _ GIRLS?!? HOW ARE THEY…  _

“Stop Monika. Listen.” They basically surround me, but they’re not angry, or upset…  _ They’re disappointed… As they should be… I killed them all… I’ve angered the player, I’ve ruined Rose’s life… Why?!? Why am I still alive!?! I  _ live  _ to fuck up whatever I touch…  _ I feel a hand on my shoulder. It’s Sayori.

“Monika! Please! Listen… It’s me… Sayori, your vice president. I… We’re worried…” The forestry around me fades away and I’m back in the club room.  _ N-no… I just… _ I try to back away, to wave my hands in the air, anything to make it all go away. 

“Monika Salvato! You big dummy! Listen!” I pause, and I see Natsuki standing up. Yuri’s there as well, with her hands on Natsuki’s shoulders. 

“You need to go back to Rose’s house! Right now! God… Just leave a depressed girl- SUICIDAL, BY THE WAY- alone… With a  _ written _ break-up letter. Now… What’s she gonna do?” She facepalms, and I step back confused. 

“You’re… not mad that I killed you?” Yuri’s grip on Natsuki tightens, and Sayori sighs a little. She holds a finger to Natsuki, who looks like she’s about to explode.

“That’s not important right now. What matters right now is your happiness. And your happiness is about to… Well… I heavily recommend going back to Rose’s house. Unless… You want to continue your spree of assisted suicides. It’s your choice, prez.” I can hear the biting tone in what Sayori is saying, but it’s drenched in worry. I try to apologize one more time, but everything flickers back to reality. In front of Rose’s house.

I’d be questioning how I got here, but like Sayori suggested, I’m more focused on making sure Rose is okay. The door is unlocked. I  _ do not gently open the door. _ I swing the damned door open, and slam it close. I hear…  _ nothing. No please… _ I hear the dog whining, and the house is relatively clean, compared to my morning. I run over to the door. I hesitate for a mere second. I- ge̴̬̰̗̮̮̫̬n̤͙͔̦̤̭̤t͈̹̩̱͇̟͘l͔̝̩̺͟y̘̺͙͇̕ ̸̥̺̹͇̠o̢̰͈̟̠̹p̘̝̳͟ę̜n͎̺͈̯̼̘ ̨͓t̶̳̩͔h͖͙͇̜̼͠ͅe͔͙͎͚̞͇ ͉͓͉͙̬̻d̦̣͙̼̩̥o̜̯͓̞͜o̡̯̖̜̺r̻̠ͅ.͙͎͞  -push the door. But there's something there.

“ROSE! OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!” I slam my fists on the door, and attempt to push it. It opens a little, and I hear something playing. It’s…  _ Sayo-nara. NO! _ I kick the door, and I begin hearing something akin to white noise.  _ No.No.No.No… Please…  _ I can’t feel it, but my face is covered in tears, and I’m sobbing. I push the door with all my strength, and I can feel my body starting to give out under all of the stress, and sleep-deprivation…

“GOD DAMN IT! OPEN THE DOOR! DAMN YOU! DAMN THE LITERATURE CLUB! DAMN IT ALL! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR! PLEASE! I LOVE YOU ROSE!” I’m practically screaming, and I get up and heave myself at the door, hoping to get it off of it’s frame. I can hear the door starting to creak more and more. I’m pushing when suddenly the door gets lighter. I hear something behind the door crack, and I tumble into the room. I look up.

She's h̴angi͝ng ther̨e.

I scream, and immediately rush towards her… body. I grab her and lift her up. 

“monika?” I can hear a raspy voice. It’s her voice. The white noise is getting louder. 

“this… must be… a dream… too…” Her office chair has fallen onto the ground, probably when she j̢ump҉̵͘e̶͞͠d. I pick it back up quickly and stand on top of it. I attempt to untie the noose, and all that happens is Rose stops breathing briefly before I stop. 

“...knife… use… knife… cut… rope… leave… me… be…” Rose attempts to walk off the chair again, but I grab her and start sobbing more.

“NO! I LOVE YOU! PLEASE! DON’T DO THIS! I  _ LOVE  _ YOU DAMN IT. DON’T LEAVE ME HERE! PLEASE… please… Don’t leave me again…” I hold onto Rose, holding her body up. The white noise is all I can hear now, and everything is going dark… 

 

T̨̢HE͞ ̸͠E̸N̶͞͏D͝

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


No.  _ No.  _ **_NO. I REFUSE FOR THIS TO HAPPEN. DAMN YOU REALITY._ ** I jump off the chair, and run to the kitchen. I grab the biggest knife I can find, and return to the room. Rose jumped off again, but she’s struggling to die. 

“STOP!” I jump back onto the chair, and start cutting the rope. I can feel it loosening, and Rose is starting to breath again. I hear the snap of the rope, and I catch Rose falling, throwing the knife onto her desk, and dig my head into her neck.

“NEVER AGAIN! I CAN’T LOSE YOU! I’d… I’d have nobody left…” The white noise has silenced. I can hear My Confession playing on Rose’s Iphone. 

“why…” I look up, and look into her eyes. They’re so…  _ grey. Like the eyes… Of a hanging body.  _

“Because I love you… I love  _ you _ . I can’t lose you! I know I’m not the best girl, or whatever… but…  _ I _ can’t lose you! I know it’s selfish! But… These past few days… They’ve been the greatest days of my life. I… I know you, and what it’s like to be in  _ your  _ reality… You know what my name means in Greek? It’s-”

“guide… your name… means guide…” I nod, and I push Rose’s head back into my chest.

“I may be the guide for the player, but you’re  _ my _ guide. You’ve guided me through the darkness, and I to you. Please… I love you…” I hear a sniffle, and I hold Rose’s hair in my hands.

“I love you too… I’m sorry…” I look into Rose’s eyes again, and she has a new… spark in her eyes. But it’s still dampened…

“I’m… so… so… sorry you had to walk in on that… I hated walking into something like this… With Sayori… But… I didn’t know what to do… I haven’t taken my antidepressants. And… that note you left… I haven’t felt like that in a while… You… You saved me… Ehehehe… From myself. I’m sorry I yelled at you, Monika… I… Love you too…” I wrap my arms around her neck, gently… We nuzzle each others neck, and cry softly… 


	15. Hand Of God - Outro

We split up, and Rose goes to the living room to call her caseworker. She’s also promised to teach me as much about this reality as she can… 

“There we go… I’ve called my caseworker. She was a bit worried, but I told her I slept in… She’s dealt with and now all that is left is…” She mumbles the last part. I look towards the door frame, and I see Rose with a faint frown on her face.

“We need to bandage the bruise on my neck…” She walks slowly to the bed, and sits next to me. I pick up the gause beside me, and wrap it slowly around her neck. The bruise is raw, and Rose just sits, staring at the floor. I finish up the wrap, and I slowly wrap my arms around her.

“Why...Why did you come back? You had every right to leave… Every right to go forward and forget about me… I… I can’t wrap my head around it...Why?” I leave the embrace, and I see the tears forming in her eyes.

“Why did I come back… Because… I love you. And… The girls… They warned me… I saw them again… I… I saw the club room, and the girls and me talked… Sayori said something bad was going to happen… Natsuki yelled at me… Yuri… She just shook her head in disappointment… I… I appeared at the front of the house… When the ‘vision’ or whatever went away… I think the girls are influencing me more than I think…” Rose wraps her arms around me, and apologizes again, for me having to face the girls again, and for me walking in on her… Hanging there…

“Don’t be sorry… I’m just… A big dummy…” I giggle, and Rose hugs me tighter, shaking her head.

“I’ll teach you… I’ll make you smarter… I… I’ll be your light, Monika… I’ll… I’ll show you  _ my _ reality. Alright?” I nod, and she lays her head on my neck. I can feel the hot tears falling from her eyes, and I feel my own face hot from my own tears. We sit like this for a while, and then I hear a scratching at the door.

“Rex needs to be taken out… Come on, Moni… I’ll teach you how to help around the house.” Rose leaves the embrace, and I follow her out into the living room. We arrive at the glass door, and I hold Rex by the black collar around his neck, while she opens the door. We both go outside, and watch as Rex goes near one of the trees, before looking at each other. I smile, and she smiles back.

“I love you Rose Crepps, and nobody can stop it!” I stick my tounge out at her, and she starts laughing. She plants a small kiss on my cheek, and I giggle. Rex comes back and we go back inside. 

“Normally, we would put Rex on the lead, but… Exercise might be what we need right now… Anyway, what do you want to do now?” I look over at Rose, and smile.

“I just wanna be with you.” Rose blushes and waves her hand.

“But Monika, that’s gay.” We both giggle and she plants a kiss right on my lips. I yelp in surprise, and I feel her tongue making its way around. I moan a little, as does she, and we stay like this for what seems to be eternity, before separating. Rex is staring up at us, all the while wagging his tail. His head is covered in a pair of hands, made up of Rose’s hand and my hand. I feel her hand over my own hand, and a small blush forms on my cheeks. Our hands grab at each other, and she motions towards the couch. I smile, and walk with her towards the couch, with Rex lying down, watching us. Rose’s arms wrap around my torso, and I grab her by the hips.

“I love you darling. I… Word’s can’t… Words can-” I interrupt Rose with another kiss. Her hands and arms lower down to my hips, and I feel her warmth.  _ Rose’s love for me. And my love for her. _

However, Rex starts whining before me and Rose can get any further than a few soft moans. We part again, and she gets up and does my pose, oddly enough. The one with my hands together, behind my back.

“Watchu wanna do, Moni? I have anime, vidya- I mean video games… Books… Darling?” I’m just watching in amusement as a blush forms on her face.

“What did I do? I-” I put my index finger on her lips, shushing her.

“I love you, Rose Crepps. No matter what is in store for us in the future… I will always love you.” I feel a bigger blush forming as she undoes her pose. 

“I wanna go outside… And see what this little town has to offer…” I look towards Rose, and she seems to be a tad bit nervous.  _ She’s not a people-person… Is she? _ I grab her hand again, and she smiles. 

“You don’t have that much in terms of material possessions so… It would be better if you were there shopping with me… And… I just realized you’re only in your underwear and collar shirt… You’re in danger of getting sick!” She pulls me up, and wraps her arms around me, in some way to keep me warm.  _ Not that I was really concerned on the cold… So… I guess… Rose is really warm… I love her so much… _

I smile and look into her eyes, and give her a kiss.  _ Rose Crepps is my girlfriend! I don’t care what anybody thinks about it, so fuck ‘em! I’m going to live my new life happy, and with Rose. Sure, we won’t get along at all times but… We’ll stick together for as long as we live! _


End file.
